THE SANCTUARY

SIT DOWN IN CHAIRY AND TAKE REFUGE IN RECOVERY!

GREATER DAYTON INTERGROUP
P.O. BOX 1919, DAYTON OH 45401-1919

Inside this issue

Pg. 2..... What We Have Let Go Of

Pg. 3..... Men's Meeting Desired

Pg. 3...... Denial Is A River In Ohio

Pg. 4...... Step 1 ... ...........Anonymous

Pg. 5..... Steps 1&2 .... Becky C

Pg. 5..... Step Questions

Pg. 6..... Gratitude List

Pg. 7..... My Heroes......Mike J.

Notes from the Editors:

Happy New Year!!!

As I embark upon the New Year, I will also begin my work on the Sanctuary. It is my hope to deliver six great issues, maintain my abstinence, and work my program to the best of my ability. We have some great things planned for this year. The first big news will be the Step Study! It will be written by our own Dayton members. Each issue will cover two steps. Becky C and Mike will be writing on our first two steps. I know that we are definitely headed for a year of recovery! I am planning on actively calling folks for these and other articles, so don’t be surprised when you receive a call from me. Just know that we are interested in your experience, strength, and hope. If you feel you can offer your time and service to write on one or two of the steps please feel free to call me, or Email me @ msquixie@cs.com One of my other plans is to make the Sanctuary available at all meetings. It is my hope that each group meeting will consider buying one or two subscriptions. These papers could be sold at the meetings or given to newcomers when they become obsolete. You won’t regret it, I hope! (Just kidding :-) As always the Sanctuary will be taking articles, poems, etc. So send them in too. Claudia More Notes

I don’t know what in the heck I’ve gotten myself into, but I’ve agreed to help Claudia on the paper, so here I am helping. I’m sure this adventure will have many lessons for all. I will be working on my own personal issues of control, procrastination, perfectionism, patience, and acceptance. I can see all these coming up for me with this newsletter already! I’m sure some of you can relate to a few of these issues, and they might make good topics for articles. Just a thought. This is very new and exciting for me, and I hope you will all will enjoy our efforts. If we can ever stop laughing at ourselves and each other, we may get this newsletter out.

Judy What We Have Let Go Of Ÿ Fear that kept me safe Ÿ Fear that I am not lovable Ÿ Hurt feelings of being used and unheard Ÿ My past...I am NOT my past Ÿ Fear of being who I am Ÿ The sadness of the past Ÿ Trying to please everyone but me Ÿ Thinking others are responsible for my happiness Ÿ Blaming others for my misery Ÿ Punishing myself for not being what others want me to be Ÿ Being ashamed of finding recovery when my spouse hasn’t. Kathy H.

Healing Light Heavenly Father, Please look kindly upon me as I learn to walk in your way. Send me helpers and friends that will strengthen me and help me to grow. When I am tired Father, hold me up. When I am weak, give me your strength. When I am sad help me to feel grateful. When I am ready to criticize help me to realize my own faults and clean them up And When I forget to love myself Father gently remind me that I am Yours and that you love me just as I am flawed and scared. Remind me always Father that in my weakness you shall make me strong. Amen

Claudia

INTERGROUP NEWS On November 20th the Intergroup met. During the meeting, elections were held for officers. Tim will be replacing Melody as Chair, Louistine will be replacing Doe as Treasurer, and Becky C will remain Region V Representative. There also was a group conscience vote on the validity of having non-conference approved literature in our bookstore. The vote was tied. Melody used her vote as Chair to break the tie. The vote was passed to discontinue the sale of non-conference approved literature. A special committee has been formed to decide the fate of the remaining books.

HUGS AND KUDOS COLUMN If you’d like to send a hug or Thank-You to someone, either anonymously or with your name on it, this would be the place to do it. You can send it in, call it in, or e-mail it in. Thanks to Melody, Doe, Becky, Kathy, and Marcie for their service this year. Okay everybody stand close together now--move in everyone and give them a great big boa hug!!! Okay that’s enough turn ‘em loose!! Your service was greatly appreciated. ü Anonymous hugs to Zenobia ü Anonymous hugs to JoAnne Word Jumble Q. Why do we come to OA? Pg. 1 A. _ ower_ess _v_ r _ood Q. Disease is threefold in nature. Pg A. Physical, _mo_i_ _l, and sp_ _ual Q. Part two of Step 1 A. Admittin_ our lives had become unmanageable. Pg.3 Fill in the blanks jumble letters around for the answer. __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ Hint it is one of the tools "

Men’s Meeting Anyone interested in starting a “men's only” OA meeting, to meet at St. Mark's, sometime during the week or weekend, please contact Jerry E. at 767-2815, or Zennhead@AOL.Com. No idea whether St. Mark's would support another meeting, but it is so centrally located, and so familiar to many of us, that I would start with a question to them (St. Mark's) about such an idea, if enough interest were shown. Probably a discussion meeting, with some emphasis on steps. If you are interested, please also indicate a day and a time that would be your first and second choices. Some collating of those results will allow me a better picture of what people are thinking. Once I get enough responses, I would put out another notice inviting those who have shown an interest in meeting at St. Mark's sometime, perhaps after Saturday lead meeting, to discuss and determine if we are serious. And whether chairing responsibilities would be adequate for a 'start up' so that no one got stung with too much work.Jerry E.

Denial Is A River In Ohio Somewhere I read a saying, “Denial is not a river in Egypt.” For me it was a river right here in Ohio and I was drowning in it. Afraid to look in a full length mirror, afraid to weigh myself, and unwilling to discuss my problems with anyone. One night in a rare moment of sanity, I realized that I was out of control, beyond hope, and facing an early grave. I couldn’t walk up a flight of stairs and could barely make it from my car into work. Not five minutes after bemoaning my existence, I found myself feeding coins into a vending machine. As I fed the coins into the machine, I knew it was crazy but I couldn’t stop. I had just told myself I was more than over-weight...I was morbidly obese...I was a dead man waiting to die. I sat there in tears, earnestly praying for God to fix it or end it. I was not only punishing myself but the people that loved me. My daughter, 26, asked me if I had ever thought about how I wanted to be buried. (That was as close as I would let her come to a discussion about my weight.) A coworker, who is a recovered alcoholic, finally broke through to me. She saw the pain behind my smile. She knew what it was like to hurt and yet deny the pain you feel. She told me her story. She told me that I was doing her a favor by letting her reach out to me. That in order to stay in recovery she needed to help others. That was, in fact, the twelfth step. She even offered to go to my first OA meeting with me if I needed the support. I went off and cried, not from pain, but I realized later out of joy and relief. I thought back to just a few days before when I had asked God to fix it or end it. God had offered me a chance. Just days after I prayed, someone came to me and told me their story. No one had done that before. No one had offered me recovery. Certainly this was a miracle. Whenever I read the first two steps.. Ÿ We admitted we were powerless over food, that our lives had become unmanageable. Ÿ Came to believe in a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. I think back to the time when I hit bottom. Today I am happier than I have ever been. I can find serenity. I have joy in my life. My weight is not an issue of denial. I know pain and I am learning how to deal with it. To understand why I hurt, how to get beyond the hurt, and resolve the problem. To act, not react. No God, No Peace. Know God, Know Peace. Mike Ÿ

Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.

Step 1

I stumbled over Step 1 for a long time. I just didn’t want to admit that there was some portion of my life that wasn’t under my control. I thought I had all my “ducks” in a row and pointing in the right direction! After all I had a good job, good family, tickets to the opera, plays, a new car, nice clothes--the works and I took a great vacation to a different state each year. My retirement fund was growing very well. There was just one area of my life that I couldn’t control--that was my weight. I tried all of the usual ways--calorie counting, health spas, Diet Workshop and Weight Watchers. When I came to OA I actually thought that it was just another way to monitor my food for a really long time. I am glad my Higher Power has a sense of humor! H.P. has led me to a new way of looking at things. There’s nothing wrong with any of the possessions named above. It was my attitude toward life and other people that was out of whack. I was totally unaware of it to boot. I didn’t love other people, and I didn’t love myself. I used the food to hide the ugly facts from myself. I pushed the feelings down with excess food. I didn’t come into these rooms because I wanted to; I was brought to my knees when I lost all the possessions named above. It hurt so much to realize what a mess I had made of my life because of the people I pushed away and the jobs I’d lost. I am grateful for the program. It has given me hope that my Higher Power can bring me out of the quagmire as long as I do the footwork. OA hugs to all

Signed anonymous Dayton Ohio

STEPS 1 AND 2 I am a compulsive overeater and my name is Becky. I need only look at my eating career to know that I belong in OA, that I am powerless over food and that my life had become unmanageable. Step 1 in OA was easy for me from the beginning. Ay doubt I may have left is completely smashed by reading the Step 1 chapter of the OA 12 & 12. I find myself fitting into almost every sentence. I work this step everyday by saying the step to myself before my feet even hit the floor. “God I am powerless over food and my life is unmanageable. Please grant me abstinence today and keep me out of those foods I no longer eat.” At the end of my day, I thank my Higher Power for one more day of abstinence. At any moment when the desire to eat compulsively appears, I ask my Higher Power to take away the desire. I also tell myself that I am powerless over food. As for working Step 2, again, I had to be brought to sanity rather than restored to sanity. From my countless vain attempts at managing my food and my life before OA, I knew that I needed much more help than any diet was going to provide. I needed to find a way to live so that I no longer wanted or needed to eat compulsively. Trust me it took me a long time to get to that spot. It took a lot of pain for me to recognize that my best efforts got me to OA, and I could not manage my eating on my own, with my own will. For much of my eating career, I merely wanted the consequences removed while I kept on eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I wasn’t ready to change. But once I made it through the doors, I have been very willing to change. I have not only changed what and how much I eat, but what situations I allow myself to get into, the company I keep, and the other behaviors that I used to allow me to stay sick. Trust is the basis of Step 2. Trusting in a Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity. Step 1 I can’t. Step 2 God can. What did I have to lose? And better yet, what did I have to gain? I have gained far more than I could have ever imagined. Abstinence is the most important thing in my life without exception.

STEP 1 QUESTIONS: Do We really want to stop eating compulsively? Am I willing to do whatever it takes to be abstinent, no matter what? Is there anything we want to try first? Have I experienced miracles in this program? How did they make me feel? Am I willing to share a miracle story with my fellow OA’ers by leading a meeting, or by writing a column for our paper? A last thought I see people continue to struggle with the food because they are unwilling to eliminate completely all those foods and eating behaviors that brought them to OA. While OA does offer fellowship and friendship, it is not a social club. It is a recovery program. Last thoughts Those that continue to struggle seem to not be willing to admit that they have a disease that only total abstinence can quiet. They try to prove again and again that they are the exception to the rule, that others may need to abstain meal after meal but not them. As with a drunk drinking only on weekends or on special occasions and not working the steps is not sobriety. Just as following our food plan only part of the time, not using the tools, and not working the steps is not abstinence. Happy New year Becky C

MY HEROES

Once my heroes rode white horses on Saturday morning TV They always got the bad guy, and solved the crime. Today my heroes sit in meetings, reaching out to others in pain. These heroes are not perfect like the ones on Saturday mornings, they are real. Their imperfections let me know that they are someone I can strive to be. I thank my Higher Power for the opportunity to know them and through them, understand myself better. Mike J. As of the printing of this article you will be able to send in your reports and articles to me via Compuserve. My old email address will become defunct. The new address is: MsQuixie@cs.com

GRATEFUL LIST

Now days all kinds of people are touting a grateful list. So, for me I thought that it was hide time I designed one for the New Year. It was explained to me that when I am feeling bluer than blue, sadder than sad or madder than the Mad Hatter I can refer to this thing and feel a little more like the human being I am supposed to be. So, I was sitting here thinking; why not write it in the paper! Feel free to copy it and embellish upon it.

Good Health Strength

Great Spouse Healthy Child(ren)

A Full Cupboard (much of the world is starving).

Great friends My ability to give back to the world

A sense of humor

An abstinent day

An abstinent minute

A sponsor who listens to me

A program that helps me arrest my disease one day at a time

A Higher Power that makes all things possible

A working food plan

That I am able to decide to be sober today

Enough service to keep me straight

Claudia