THE SANCTUARY

“HIGHER POWERED PONTIFICATION”

Greater Dayton Area Intergroup, P.O. Box 1919, Dayton OH 45401-1919

Volume 12, Issue 4 July/August 2000

NOTES FROM THE EDITOR

Well, I am still here and trying to stay out of trouble. That isn’t easy for me, as I am used to being in trouble with somebody or with something. I don’t know if there is any hope for me. I just don’t like rules. Give me any rule and I’ll show you a good way to break that sucker. EHH-so set me on fire. Breaking rules is really kinda fun till ya get caught. Even then I am trying to learn to enjoy the pain!

I am still abstinent, so that’s a great thing. At least when I am breaking the rules, I am sober now. Is that good? Hum. Well, yes, it is always good to be sober, cause then I know what I’m doing while I am breaking them. When I’m tanked up on sugar or carbs, there’s no telling what I might do or whether I’ll remember it. They make me “gitchy”. Whoops! That word isn’t in the dictionary. Thought it was. Is it breaking the rules to make up your own words for a newsletter? I think I’ll start my own new language and try it out on you guys.

I am pleased with the results of sending The Sanctuary out electronically. I think we’ll be keeping it. Monetary support of the paper has been great as well!! Thanks all.

I just talked with Judy on the IM (computer users instant message). What a trip!! I am certainly blessed to have her in my life. She said I should stop saying that she’s weird in the paper. So-----------now I am faced with a delema------------- Is that a rule that when someone asks you to “stop that” and you have to do it? Errrrrrrrrrrr. Well, I’ll ask my sponsor, but until I get the official--I am going to assume that it isn’t a rule. She’s weird in the best of ways. She never means to spin out of control--it just happens. She’s just lucky, I think, to have me to keep her balanced. Whoa, that’s a stretch there. Picture Judy spinning and me trying to balance her with a stick.

Claudia

INSIDE THIS EDITION

Page 2............................................Step 7

Page 3............................................Step 8

Page 4...................Rules of Sponsorship

Page 4....................................Anonymity

Page 5................Surviving The 5th Step

Page 5.............22 Reasons For Relapse

Page 7...........More Discussion Wanted

Page 8..............................General News

Page 8..........Hang’n With The Winners

NEWS AROUND

There are so many wonderful things that are taking place in Dayton. On June 10, Becky organized a workshop on Living Thin. It was a great opportunity to learn and to have fellowship with other OAer’s.

The Public Information Committee is beginning to see some projects that were started come to fruition. The Billboard should be up at the reading of this paper. It will be in the location of Woodman Dr. and Airway.

Marcy is taking the OA newcomer movie and adding a trailer to it. We will then be airing it on DATV. It will last 16 min. She has a few other ideas that will catapult us into TVLAND as well.

And last but not least the Web Page. That is up and running. What a cool thing!! The address is www.region5oa.org/dayton. The region also has a web page and that address is www.region5oa.org.

A committee has been formed to look at and rewrite the By-laws. Melody and Judy D. are that committee. Consider jumping on the committee and getting in some service. No pressure, no pressure. The committee has asked the fellowship to read them and send in any ideas for change. It will be a good and easy way for us to do service.

STEP 7

HUMBLY ASKED HIM TO REMOVE OUR SHORTCOMINGS

I have personally struggled with the word humbly and humility. I’ve found myself looking them up in the dictionary time and again, hoping that the meaning would sink in. It finally occurred to me that I could ask my sponsor. After all isn’t that why we pay them the big bucks? Just kidding Tim. For what I put him through I don’t have enough money. So, anyway, I did ask and he did have an answer. I said, “Whew, now I’ll have nothing to worry about; I’ll know the meaning and I can put that to use.” To myself of course. His definition was that of being “right sized” and “teachable.” Well, it’s one thing to know the meaning and quite another to use it. Many of these defects of character are pretty well embedded.

I did some thinking about being right sized and came to believe that what is necessary is for me to realize that most of my defects, if not all of them, are traits that have gotten out of balance.

I have been sitting here writing a nice article that really doesn’t amount to a hill of beans to tell you the truth. My mind just keeps hearing the same message, “let’s get real here.” “What is your problem?” What character defect(s) is holding you up today? What don’t you want these folks to know and, more over, what don’t you want to face?”

The defects that my HP is pointing out are guilt of the unnecessary type, lack of self-love and swearing. It is always easier for me to hide my defects from others, thus, making myself look as though I have it all together (pride). These aren’t all of them :-) by any means. These are the one’s my HP is showing me today.

Guilt of the unnecessary type, gets a hold of me regularly. If I don’t do what the people in my life who have been attempting to control me for my entire life, i.e. my mother, want me to do, I feel guilt. This is a huge problem, because it affects my self-esteem. I automatically hear her message and begin feeling that I am worthless or that I need to honor her demands. The tapes begin to play. I believe the shrinks call this internalizing what is being said. The more I internalize and play the message, the more I become “less than” in my own eyes. Then starts the self-talk, which is filled with hate. Through the program and working the steps I am realizing that I don’t like the feeling. It makes me uncomfortable. Using my addictions to food, alcohol and drugs is no longer an option with this, so I must now find an answer that works. That is called building self-worth daily and learning to take care of myself at the appropriate times. I think with this, it is about giving myself permission to be a kind and loving adult to myself. When I fall short of the mark, I can forgive myself and move on toward my goal, knowing that God will remove the defect when I have learned the life lesson I want to learn.

I don’t want to face the fact that I don’t love myself enough either! I let some people in my life walk all over me. I don’t take care of myself, I criticize God’s handiwork and don’t cherish it. A bummer on one hand and a blessing on the other! Because, at least now I know that the defect exists-- before I didn’t have a clue. So, with humility in mind I can ask that the defect be removed. I had hoped that I could just let God wave His magic wand and fix it. I am into the wand stuff. However, I know what I need to do is begin the footwork, by telling myself that I have value and that I don’t deserve to be treated badly by myself or anyone else. When I come up short of the mark, I can be gentle with myself and begin again with the positive affirmations that God would have His child use.

It isn’t going to be easy for me, I can assure you. But, I have learned through the years that the result will be worth the work.

Two things keep occurring to me. One is a paragraph from the Big Book, Page 449. “...there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and we each have a right to be here. When I complain about me or about you, I am complaining about God’s handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God.”

Through prayer and communication with my sponsor, I have learned a lot about myself and about my defects.

What I’ve found is that my shortcomings are the things that I wish could be different, but that I can’t change. I have a raft of those puppies, too. In step 6, I became willing to have God remove my defects of character and in 7 I am learning to love myself in spite of them, knowing that God will do for me what I can never do for myself--if I am willing.

Claudia

STEP 8

MADE A LIST OF ALL PERSONS WE HAD HARMED

AND BECAME WILLING TO MAKE AMENDS TO THEM ALL

Well, part of the trick is to avoid at all costs picturing yourself making amends to anyone, until after you've made the list. Since I just completed my list the other day, I can assure you that it went much easier when I stopped picturing the dreaded future amends. I've tried to not look forward, but only to look back at the truth of what I've done.

Another trick that helps me is that every time I think of how awful the other person was in the situation, I immediately ask myself, "Yeah, but what was MY part in it?" That's all that I need to consider, then write down the names and be accountable for MY behavior. Otherwise, I just work myself into a renewed resentment, which I've tried with God's help to let go of back in Steps 4 and 5.

Asking my Higher Power to clue me in by reminding me of people I have hurt has been very helpful. One day, I was riding in my car, not even thinking about this topic, and a person floated into my mind. I have a feeling that God was tapping me on the shoulder and saying, "Well, you asked for it!.”

Then, today I was riding past a person's place of business and saw the sign with his name out front, and remembered what a jerk he used to be. I had forgotten to include him on my resentment list, and realized I still had a resentment toward him. Then I realized God might be trying to tap me again and help me consider my behavior in that interaction which happened almost 20 years ago. I have a feeling that I could have responded to that person in a more mature manner than I did, and could have avoided escalating the conflict. I'm trying to learn how to "Act, instead of react.” But back then, reacting was my chief way of getting through life and situations.

Now I'm looking forward to sharing my Amends List with my sponsor. I'm hoping and praying she crosses off a few names. Wouldn't you? Instead of hating myself for finding all of these faults and failings, I'm learning to respect myself for having the guts to just go ahead and do what the Big Book is practically begging all of us to do: the 12 Steps.

I'm also thankful that my sponsor encouraged me to not dally and to just hurry up and get this over with. I always did prefer to dive into the pool and get the pain over with quickly, rather than the slow, shivering walk from the Shallow to to the deep end.

I started reading the Big Book in February, and in May am almost done with Step 8. Why prolong the suffering?

Once you read the first few chapters with all of the stories of hopeless, truly hopeless alcoholics, and become convinced that the Steps transformed them, you have to ask yourself, "If it worked for them, then why not for me?" Why not, indeed? It works IF you work it!!

Judy Velbeck

THE TWELVE STEPS OF SPONSORSHIP

1. I will not help you to stay and wallow in limbo.

2. I will help you to grow, to become more productive, by your definition.

3. I will help you become more autonomous, more loving of yourself, more excited, less sensitive, more free to become the authority for your own living.

4. I cannot give you dreams or "fix you up" simply because I cannot.

5. I cannot give you growth, or grow for you. You must grow for yourself by facing reality, grim as it may be at times.

6. I cannot take away your loneliness or your pain.

7. I cannot sense your world for you, evaluate your goals for you, tell you what is best for your world; because you have your own world in which you must live.

8. I cannot convince you of the necessity to make the vital decision of choosing the frightening uncertainty of growing over the safe misery of remaining static.

9. I want to be with you and know you as a rich and growing friend; yet I cannot get close to you when you choose not to grow.

10. When I begin to care for you out of pity or when I begin to lose faith in you, then I am inhibiting both for you and for me.

11. You must know and understand my help is conditional. I will be with you and "hang in there" with you so long as I continue to get even the slightest hint that you are still trying to grow.

12. If you can accept this, then perhaps we can help each other to become what God meant us to be--mature adults, leaving childishness forever to the little children of the world.

ANONYMITY

There was one thing that struck me while listening to Mike B.’s lead on the 10th. Don’t get me wrong--the whole thing was great, especially the M&M’s. I could really relate big time. If you weren’t there, you missed a real howl.

Mike talked about the fact that OA is an anonymous organization and not a secret society. It is all right for us to use our last names in meetings and when talking to one another. I was glad to hear him say so. I always wondered what all the secrecy was about. It seems in OA, we have a lot of it. Just ask someone who their sponsor is and see what type of look you get.

I think that it is good to look at The Traditions and see what suggestions they give us. I try to remember when reading them that they are only suggestions, not rules. There are no rules in OA.

Reading the 12th tradition and discussing it with Tim, who by the way is my sponsor, gave some insight to the situation and it also brought some confusion, too. Why? Because it just doesn’t give a clear cut, black and white answer to the name issue. The Tradition states that we can give our last names out if we choose to. It goes on to say that it is not always necessary to give them out either. That in using no last names we are then all on equal footing.

The question I have asked myself is--Why am I giving out my last name. I give out my last name because that way there is no question about who you are talking about. Too many times I have mentioned a person’s name only to be asked silly questions like curly headed or straight, gray or blonde and on and on. Sometimes it will not even do to give the last initial because they are the same, too. Another reason is that you may want to talk with me, but don’t have my number. If this happens you can look it up in the book. It isn’t listed at present, but I intend to list it from now on. I may get sick and you may wish to send me a card. Who will you send it to? Streaky blonde haired Claudia that is a C.O.E. The hospital will throw that card away.

Basically, I believe that it is up to each person to determine the level of their anonymity and ask themselves why they are uncomfortable with their last name being used within the OA setting. I cannot and should not break your anonymity--only you can do that. But, I believe it is a worthy area of contemplation within the Fellowship.

It is also important for us to let the newcomer know that we respect the principle of anonymity and that we will never give out their last name, ask them for it, or divulge any other information that they may share with us.

I am also asking myself to be open to carrying the message of OA where it is called for. That is another area of anonymity that can get secretive. Am I afraid to offer help to someone who mentions that they think they are C.O.E.? If so, why? Well, for me it isn’t about being embarrassed about being in OA. I believe that I am just backward about giving out the information that the person may need. That is an area where I fall short in my 12th step work of a duty, a responsibility and a promise.

The other thing that I question is why who I see at a meeting must stay there. Is this for the newcomers benefit, so he will feel comfortable in knowing that I will not blab it in his workplace etc.? I tend to think that may be the case. Surely your telling Tim that you saw me at a meeting on Friday night is no big deal. Who the heck is hurt by that? No one that I can see.

At first the pendulum can swing far to the left and then to the right. My goal in recovery is about finding a happy medium in all areas of my life.

I hope that this article will encourage dialogue amongst ourselves. Share your views next month.

Claudia

SURVIVING THE 5TH STEP

How does one make it through the 5th step? Easy. Do it, and you're still breathing when it's over. In fact, you're breathing a lot easier than before. Your Sponsor still likes you, and you've probably even laughed a bit at some of your escapades. And some tears are shed, which can be very healing.

It's a relief and a joy to be able to let go of the "perfect person" facade, and just be a real person-- someone who loves and does good things, but also has chosen wrongly and happens to have character defects, like everyone else on the planet. It's not so lonely anymore when you can join the ranks of your fellows as an imperfect person. No longer do I have to pretend that I'm better than anyone else, and no longer do I have to feel like I'm less than everyone else. I'm just another fallible Child of God, searching for the way to happiness and serenity.

Suddenly, I don't feel so ready to criticize the behavior of others, now that I have taken a good look at my own failings. Maybe this will enable me to have fewer problems with resentments in the future, now that I'm not expecting as much from everyone else, not writing their script for them of how they are supposed to act in my play. I've tossed the manuscript of my play in the can, and now am ready to play my part in God's production. I'm starting to see the 12 Steps as the stairway to a miracle. Instead of avoiding them and trying everything else instead, I've decided this time in my life to climb them to freedom. Rather than something to be dreaded, they are my way out of hell.

Each step takes me up out of misery toward a sane, connected, useful way of life that has God at its center.

Please don't avoid doing the steps. They are the way out.

Judy Velbeck

22 CAUSES OF RELAPSE

(from the Big Book -- numbered in the order in which they appear in the book)

STEP 2-Failure to keep on believing

3) Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through us, or we perish.

[Big Book page 16, line 12]

STEP 3-Failure to maintain the decision

22) Whether the family goes on a spiritual basis or not, the OA* member has to if he would recover.

[Big Book page 135, line 1]

STEP 5-Failure to make confession

9) We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. The best reason first: if we skip this vital step, we may not overcome compulsive overeating. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they became drunk on food. Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell. We think the reason is that they never completed their housecleaning. They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They only thought they had lost their egotism and fear; they only thought they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else all their life story.

[Big Book page 72, line 28]

10) He trembles to think someone might have observed him. As fast as he can, he pushed these memories far inside himself. He hopes they will never see the light of day. He is under constant fear and tension-that makes for more eating.

[Big Book page 73, line 19]

STEP 7-Failure to remove My Shortcomings

6) So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the compulsive overeater is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we compulsive overeaters must be rid of the selfishness. We must, or it kills us!

[Big Book page 62, line 14]

7) But with the compulsive overeater, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings, we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of compulsive overeating returns and we are not abstinent again. And with us, to compulsively overeat is to die.

[Big Book page 66, line 13]

16) In our belief, any scheme of combating compulsive overeating which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the C.O.E. tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed.

[Big Book page 101, line 16]

17) After all, our problems were of our own making. The foods were only a symbol. Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything. We have to!

[Big Book page 103, line 18]

19) We never, never try to arrange a man's life so as to shield him from temptation. The slightest disposition on your part to guide his appointments or his affairs so he will not be tempted will be noticed. Make him feel absolutely free to come and go as he likes. This is important. If he gets drunk on food, don't blame yourself. God has either removed your husband's C.O.E. problem or He has not. If not, it had better be found out right away. Then you and your husband can get right down to fundamentals. If a repetition is to be prevented, place the problem, along with everything else, in God's hands.

[Big Book page 120, line 22]

STEP 9-Failure to make amends

11) Arranging the best deal we can, we let these people know we are sorry. Our compulsive overeating has made us slow to pay. We must lose our fear of creditors no matter how far we have to go, for we are liable to eat if we are afraid to face them.

[Big Book page 78, line 12]

12) After consulting with his wife and partner, he came to the conclusion that it was better to take those risks than to stand before his Creator guilty of such ruinous slander. He saw that he had to place the outcome in God's hands or he would soon start compulsively overeating again, and all would be lost anyhow.

[Big Book page 80, line 21]

STEP 10-Failure to make daily Inventory and Amends

8) Suppose we fall short of the chosen ideal and stumble? Does this mean we are going to eat compulsively? Some people tell us so. But this is only a half-truth. It depends on us and on our motives. If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to compulsively overeat. We are not theorizing. These are facts out of our experience.

[Big Book page 70, line 5]

15) After they have seen tangible results, the family will perhaps want to go along. These things will come to pass naturally and in good time provided, however, the C.O.E. continues to demonstrate that he can be sober, considerate, and helpful, regardless of what anyone says or does. Of course, we all fall much below this standard many times. But, we must try to repair the damage immediately lest we pay the penalty by a spree.

[Big Book page 99, line 9]

20) In the first flush of spiritual experience, they forgave each other and drew closer together. The miracle of reconciliation was at hand. Then, under one provocation or another, the aggrieved one would unearth the old affair and angrily cast its ashes about. A few of us have had these growing pains and they hurt a great deal. Husbands and wives have sometimes been obliged to separate for a time until new perspective, new victory over hurt pride could be won. In most cases, the compulsive overeater survived this ordeal without relapse, but not always. So we think that unless some good and useful purpose is to be served, past occurrences should not be discussed.

[Big Book page 124, line 25]

STEP 11-Failure to engage in Prayer and Meditation

5) All went well for a time, but he failed to enlarge his spiritual life. To his consternation, he found himself drunk on food (slip or relapse) half a dozen times in rapid succession.

[Big Book page 35, line 27]

13) It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for food is a subtle foe. We are not cured of compulsive overeating. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities.

"How can I best serve Thee? Thy will (not mine) be done." These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.

[Big Book page 85, line 13]

18) Perhaps your husband will make a fair start on the new basis, but just as things are going beautifully he dismays you by coming home intoxicated. If you are satisfied he really wants to get over compulsive overeating, you need not be alarmed. Though it is infinitely better that he have no relapse at all, as has been true with many of our men, it is by no means a bad thing in some cases.

Your husband will see at once that he must redouble his spiritual activities if he expects to survive.

[Big Book page 120, line 6]

STEP 12-Failure to have Spiritual Experience

1) the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few compulsive bites--bites which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.

[Big Book page xxvii, line 1]

STEP 12-Failure to Practice These Principles

4) Most of us sense that real tolerance of other people's shortcomings and viewpoints and a respect for their opinions are attitudes which make us more useful to others. Our very lives, as ex-problem C.O.E.’s, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.

[Big Book page 19, line 30]

*reference to alcoholics/alcohol were changed to C.O.E./food, etc.

Submitted by Judy D.

WHY AREN’T THERE MORE DISCUSSIONS MEETINGS

From the attendance at meetings in the Dayton area, it sure looks like OA is doing better. Meetings I attend regularly, or semi-regularly are: Sunday night Step meeting on Dorothy Lane; Monday noon Kettering Library meeting; Monday night discussion at St. Mark’s; Wednesday noon Step meeting at St. Mark’s.

I just wonder, having come in from AA with nearly thirteen years of continuous sobriety, why OA has so few pure discussion meetings. The meeting on Monday noon, for instance, is regularly a rotational type discussion--Tradition, Step, Big Book, literature. What about just a straight discussion meeting?

I, for one, have always profited from hearing a topic brought up relating to recovery, and then hearing the people in the meeting share their "experience, strength and hope" about that topic. These topics are often timely and very vital to the process of living in recovery. I am not saying Steps, Traditions, Leads, Big Book, OA literature discussion meetings don't have their place. Obviously, they do. And obviously, they are needed because of the wonderful attendance. But how about some discussion meetings, straight, pure and simple? One meeting I attended the topic was: how do I know I qualify for OA? What a great meeting it was. Another, how do I take care of myself in OA? And, just how “do I work the Program [of OA], one day at a time?” I have certainly not

been to all the OA meetings in the area. I live in Yellow Springs, so I have some limits (self-imposed) on how far I will drive. I also attend AA and Al-Anon, and basically have to put some limits on just how far I will drive each week among those three programs. I hope that no one will feel particularly upset with this question, but if you do-- sorry.

I know that I was talking to another old friend from AA who has come into OA, too, and we were both wondering: what is up with that? What is that about? Do we feel too insecure in OA to let it all go and just jump into a discussion meeting? I hope not. I have heard some tremendous stuff shared in meetings. OA is a mature program in years, and I suspect in wisdom, experience, strength and hope. There are plenty of OA old timers who have lots of good stuff to share. If anyone feels the same way, and would like to start another discussion meeting at a centrally located spot, such as "Big" St. Marks, please contact me at Zennhead@aol.com.

Thanks,

Jerry

FYI

A DISCUSSION MEETING MEETS AT ST. MARK’S ON WOODMAN EVERY THURSDAY AT 7:00 PM. ANOTHER GREAT WAY TO GET A MEETING. THIS MEETING IS ALSO IN NEED OF SUPPORT; SO IF YOU CAN, GET OVER THERE AND GIVE SERVICE.

WEB PAGE

Many thanks go out to Tim for his service in getting this project up and running. Thanks Tim.

BILLBOARD NEWS!!!!

Dayton has a billboard!! This is really exciting!!

Dayton is now the proud owner of billboard space. It looks absolutely FANTASTIC!! I hope to talk to Ken Furgeson, Infinity Signs, as of the writing of this paper and ask for a copy of the disk used to produce it. If we can get it I am hoping to get it put up on our web page.

Now, the directions to get there--in case you want a nice field trip. Go down Woodman Drive past St. Mark’s, turn left (west) on Airway. Within a ¼ mile of the intersection there is a billboard on the left, in front of Pinky’s. Our sign is on the east side of the sign so you will need to turn around. Write in and let us know what you think.

LIVING THIN

On June 10, there was a workshop on living thin at St. Mark’s. It was a great workshop. We had two terrific leads. One from Mike B. (Cleveland) and one from Charlene (Canada). In the afternoon we had Coed workshop time. Thanks go out to Becky C for putting it on for us. And many thanks to Mike and Charlene for coming and doing service.

ABSTINENCE AND SPONSORSHIP

Hang’n With The Winners?

Lately I have heard some statements around OA regarding sponsorship and abstinence. I am astonished to find out that some people select a sponsor who is not abstinent.

I did a little research into the situation just to make sure that I had my facts straight regarding what the suggestion is. In the tools of recovery it says:

“Sponsors are OA members who are living the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions to the best of their ability. They are willing to share their recovery with other members of the Fellowship and are committed to abstinence.

We ask a sponsor to help us through our program of recovery on all three levels: physical, emotional and spiritual....

Ours is a program of attraction; find a sponsor who has what you want, and ask that person how he or she is achieving it. A member may work with more than one sponsor and may change sponsors at will.”

I’m wondering why someone would choose a sponsor who isn’t abstinent. How can I expect to get recovery and get the honesty that I will need from someone who isn’t able to be physically, emotionally, and spiritually fit at the present? If I choose a sponsor who isn’t abstinent, isn’t that like sabotaging my own recovery? Why would I want a coach who is loosing?

How can I accept the role of sponsorship if I am not abstinent? Do I have a duty to the person that I agree to sponsor stating that I will be committed to abstinence as the tools suggest? Webster’s Dictionary states that a commitment is the act of pledging or promising one’s self to something.

So, for me that means that I must make a pledge to myself that I will remain abstinent and a promise to my sponsoree that I will remain abstinent. If I am not abstinent, that means I will call you, and I will step down as your sponsor; if I am too drunk to step down it means that you should fire me. I think that for me to sponsor someone while in the throws of my disease would be a selfish and self-centered act.

Frankly, there are many things that keep me sober in this program, but two of them are having to call my sponsor and tell him that I am not abstinent and having to call my sponsoree’s and tell them that I am not abstinent.

I have learned that hanging with the winners produces the results that I desire in my program. If I decide to hang with those people who are not abstinent, I will shortly become incontinent, followed by the action of compulsive overeating. That to me sounds like throwing myself deliberately on a sword. Spiritual Suicide.

Send your thoughts and comments to the sanctuary.

Claudia Ioanes with Tim Hagedorn

UP AND COMING EVENTS!!!!!!!

7/15/00

Intergroup meets at 10:30 at St. Mark’s

8/3-6/00

World Service Convention-Dallas Texas

9/9/00

Region V-Ohio Day of Sharing-Columbus

10/13-15/00

Region V Convention-Cleveland Ohio

Question for the masses--The readings on Saturday morning appear to be different than the traditional readings. Was there a group conscience to change these readings or was it one person’s idea? Please respond to the Sanctuary if you know.

The Saturday meeting frequently has no one signed up for the chair. Thus, we have had some wonderful opportunities to grow in new directions through discussion and panel. However, there has been some mention of the fact that this is the only lead meeting in Dayton, and there is merit in maintaining it as such. If this is your feeling, please take service by the horns, sign up to chair, and get yourself a speaker to do a lead.

SUBMIT ARTICLES AND OTHER COMMUNICATIONS TO SANCTUARY1@JUNO.COM

The opinions expressed herein are the opinions of the individuals who have contributed and not those of Overeaters Anonymous as a whole.

Thank you to all who contributed to this issue of the newsletter--your service is appreciated. Deadline for the next Sanctuary is August 15th. If you’re late just send it anyway.