NOTES FROM THE EDITOR
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!
Wow!!! Can you believe
this. By the time this baby hits the
stands we will be eyeballing turkeys and taking our gifts to the hospital to
get them X-rayed!!! That doesn’t go against
any OA recovery code does it? I am
actually typing this a week before Halloween.
It’s a relief to know that I don’t have to go to the hospital this year
to get my candy x-rayed. Though I must
confess when I was eating compulsively, I didn’t bother with that, I I just threw myself on a sword for
their benefit and ate anything that looked iffy. A true addict. I am
already thinking of an appropriate Thanksgiving and Christmas gift for Judy
D. Hum--though after sharing a room
with her in Cleveland for Region V convention and that long ride up I am
thinking that I should try to see if I can find her a recovery program for back
seat drivers. My Gosh! You’d think she was born in the police
academy. “Aren’t you afraid they will
give you a ticket doing 80?” Judy, if I
thought 80 was too fast, would I be driving at that rate of speed? Ehhhhhhh.
“Aren’t you using cruise control?”
NO!!! We don’t need it if we are
lerching all the way to Cleveland in traffic!
Folks...........Judith is
looking for people to ride with her on a daily basis for her new Riding
Academy. Takers? I didn’t think so!!!! Someone told her she reminds him of his
mother, only with knives coming out of her shoes.
Anyway, you are probably curious about the convention
itself. It was wonderful. There were nonstop leads and lectures from
8:00 a.m. until midnight. I am letting
Judy write about it cause I have a headache from her bossing me around in the
car. 0:-) That circle is either my halo or an ice pack--guess which one.
Claudia Ioanes
IN THIS EDITION:
Body
Image............................................................... 2
Flute
Lesson.............................................................. 3 Dr. Bob’s Nightmare: The gift of passing it on..... 3
Tunnels...................................................................... 4
Steps 10, 11 &
12...................................................... 6
ET Go
Home............................................................. 7
Step
12....................................................................... 7
My Incredible Recovery.......................................... 9
OA
Happenings........................................................10
REGION 5 E-MAIL DIRECTORY
Region 5 has an E-mail directory that anyone in Region 5 may
belong to for the asking. If you are
interested in being on the list, which by the way is not an E-mail loop for
conversation, you can E-mail the following info to Kevin G and he’ll take care
of you. If you desire more information
E-mail Kevin with your questions. To
join the E-mail list send your first name, last initial, city, state and E-mail
address to email@region5oa.org
You can write Kevin at the same E-mail address with your
questions.
CONVENTIONS
The Dayton/Columbus Areas have their work cut out for them next
year to come close to equaling this year’s Region V Convention, but I have no
doubt we can do it. The topics were
excellent. I attended two which I don’t
ever think I can hear enough on -- Body Image and Sexuality.
I really wanted to attend the session on boundaries, but sexuality
won out. There was very open honest
sharing of issues of a sexual nature with no guilt or shame.
How do I set boundaries and maintain them now that I am losing
the weight as a boundary? I have lots
of questions--few answers. Maybe
another session for next year?
Much help will be needed to pull this off, so be sure to give
Becky your number so you can be included.
This is something that I personally do not wish to be left out of.
Judy Damico
BODY IMAGE
One of the things I related to in the session regarding body
image was about having an attitude towards men. In my past life of recovery, after I lost weight and men started
paying attention to me, I was very resentful.
I thought, “you didn’t pay any attention to me when I was 75 lbs. heavier
-- just leave me the heck alone now.”
I think I was so burnt from relationship with my
alcoholic/addict husband, that I just didn’t like men very much at all. I had been the chief bread winner and bottle
washer for so long--the provider, protector and hunter--my male side was front
and center for a long time.
This time, being single, in recovery, and more open, honest, and
teachable, I allowed men into my life.
I experienced something I had not experienced in a long, long time. There was a soft side of me. A gentle, loving, caring side that was
hidden for many years beneath the weight.
I also never see my body as it really is. I read something recently about not liking
or accepting your body as it is, does not change the reality of your body. I did not lose weight quite as quickly this
time as last. I have had more time to
adjust to my size. I have more weight
to lose to be “quite right” by the tables, but I believe I need this time to
adjust. And who determines what is
right for me anyway? I think I get to
choose. What a concept!
Judy Damico
STEP 11
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our
conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of
His will for us and the power to carry that out. Taken from Big Book of AA, Page 60
STEP 11 -- LOST AND FOUND
I am on a quest to learn as much about Step 11 as I can. It hasn’t been easy for me. When I became abstinent last year, it was
the start of a new relationship with my HP.
That relationship has been growing and expanding as I work my programs
in OA, AA and Al-Anon.
It was in OA that my quest for God began in earnest. I needed in Steps 1 and 2 to find a HP that
could help me with the first disease that I was willing to see. That was compulsive overeating.
Upon working Steps 1 and 2 my sponsor pointed out to me that I
would be needing a morning and evening program. A morning and evening program were the call to Step 11. Normally, I would not recommend to anyone
that they work steps out of order, but it was essential for me to begin working
on prayer and meditation right from the start.
I was a hard case; and the only thing that I had to hang onto after my
relapse was GOD, the program of OA, my sponsor and my fellow members.
So, with that knowledge I started to pray. The road has been very bumpy. I was not a “GOOD” pray-er. I would forget! Heck during my relapse I forgot to pray every morning and evening
for a year! Gosh I didn’t want to
disturb God or call too much attention to myself.
No, in all seriousness I didn’t forget to pray and meditate--I
just didn’t do it. I said I was too
busy. Heck, He dumped a 2-month-old
baby in my lap. Well, it’s honest
folks--my sick addict mind told me that.
That’s what gave me the excuse not to pray and meditate. Which then in turn I believe led to my
relapse.
My sponsor has said to me on more than one occasion, “are you
praying about these things?” And I would say, “No, I forgot to.” He would in turn say, “Well, girl, you
better get busy then. You’ve got a lot
of work to do.” Ha, how right he is.
When I am not spiritually fit, I am moving backwards; and when I
go backwards, I am moving into my diseases.
I revert into the thinking that I am the center of the universe and that
God does stuff to me. It was kind of a
little war game. God doing stuff and me
trying to head him off at the pass.
Today the 11th Step helps me to stop thinking that I am the
center of the universe. Instead I focus
on making God the center of my universe and I revolve around Him. This doesn’t happen everyday by any
means. Like I said, I think of it as a
quest today. Some days my prayer life
and my relationship with my HP feel like they have reached a pinnacle, and on
other days they feel as though they are in the valley. A lot like other important relationships in
my life.
What I do know is that on those days that I am clearly hearing
what my HP has to say to me I feel exhilarated and it gives me hope for the
valley days.
The valley days are becoming a resting place, where I can look
to the peaks from before and know that God was taking care of me and look to
the mountain ahead and prepare for the next part of the quest, knowing that God
will take me on the journey if I am willing to pack my “kit of spiritual tools”
and go along yet one more time.
Claudia Ioanes
THE FLUTE LESSON
Upon returning to OA after eight years of relapse and denial, I
decided to take private flute lessons.
My abstinence requires that I fill long stretches of time---that used to
be used for bingeing---with healthy, fun activities. I have always wanted to play the flute, so, I figured there's no
time like the present! I was pleased
when my first lesson revealed to me that learning to play the flute is like
learning to work the 12 steps. In both
cases, I have to be teachable. On the
day of my first private flute lesson, I showed up with lipstick on that matched
my outfit, well-manicured nails, a toe ring that matched my thumb ring, and my
newly bought flute.
At the start of the class, my flute instructor said, "Your
lipstick is going to cause the flute to slip from your lips." So, I took a tissue from my purse and
immediately wiped the lipstick off.
When he added, "Your well-manicured finger nails are too long and
must be cut in order to play the flute keys," I cut them off that same
day. By the middle of the class, he
mentioned that my thumb ring was preventing me from having the firmest grip on
the flute. I removed it in seconds and
jokingly volunteered to remove the toe ring if he thought it would help. He was shocked that I followed his
suggestions without protest---BUT HE HADN'T MET MY SPONSOR!!! My relieved, but flabbergasted flute
instructor was clueless because he didn't know that my sponsor, OA literature,
OA members, and my Higher Power had been providing me with plenty of practice
when it comes to being open and willing in new situations.
For instance, when my sponsor told me that I needed to cut out
foods that threaten my abstinence, snip, snip, snip I went down my list of
binge foods that same day. When my
sponsor told me that I needed to report my food to her for 30 consecutive days,
I felt humiliated at first, but I complied.
After the first week of reporting my meals, I realized that I was
gradually learning how to avoid making impulsive, compulsive food choices that
make me vulnerable to relapse. So, at
the end of class when my flute instructor told me I needed to put cotton balls
in my nose to remind myself to breathe only through my mouth while playing the
flute, I went to the store that same day and bought some cotton balls for flute
practice. I felt silly at first, then I
noticed how I was gradually learning how to regulate my breath while
playing. Like my OA program, the more I
surrender to the process, the more I learn.
To learn how to play the flute, I must be patient, not get
discouraged, and have a childlike faith that one day I will have the skills
necessary to play beautiful music. In
the OA program, we call this "ACTING AS IF..." When I get impatient and focus on how I am
the only "adult student" my flute instructor has this year, I
sometimes think to myself, "How old will I be when I finally learn to play
this flute?" Then, my Higher Power
echoes the answer into my subconscious, "The same age you'll be if you
DON'T learn how to play the flute!"
Like OA, learning to play the flute isn't an "age-thing"---it's
an "easy does it thing" and it takes what it takes!
Aaron
FROM "Doctor Bob's
Nightmare:"
"I spend a great
deal of time passing
on what I learned to others
who want and
need it badly. I do it for four reasons:
1. Sense of duty.
2. It is a pleasure.
3. Because in so doing I am
paying my debt
to the man who took time to pass it on to me.
4. Because every time I do
it, I take out a
little more insurance for myself against
a possible slip."
THE GIFT OF PASSING IT ON
When I think about this passage from Dr. Bob’s Nightmare,
I become really grateful for the people in my life who have taken the time to
pass it on. They have given me the
biggest single gift in my life without reservation.
Without them I would still be practicing my disease of
compulsive overeating. It is not just
my sponsor(s) of today and the past, it’s meant for everyone who has extended
the hand of recovery through their attendance at meetings and their willingness
to share of themselves. Also, to the
people who have made outreach calls just to say hello, and the ones who call to
say, “I need to talk.” I was taught
that carrying the message is my duty.
It is the way I give back to others what was so freely given me when I
needed it. It’s a blessing to be able
to do it, and also an honor for me. It
is also a pleasure for sure. I get so
much pleasure out of talking with those that I sponsor. They have enriched my life and for certain,
made me laugh and cry. I ask em not to
make me cry, but sometimes they can’t resist it. Naw.
And last but not least, I do it for myself too. Because, I need those whom I twelve-step --
sometimes more than they need me. It
helps me to stay sober from the food for one more day.
Thanks to all of you who have come and sat in a meeting with me,
shared from your heart, called me, taken my call and allowed me to sponsor
you.
And thanks to all who have sponsored me. You have made my life richer and
fuller.
Claudia Ioanes
TUNNELS
On a bright and colorful fall day I traveled along the
Pennsylvania Turnpike with its tunnels that cut through the mountains. Some are short and I could see the other end
as I entered them, some are longer and darker.
I had to go through the tunnels.
There is no way around them. I
could have stopped, looked at them, guessed their length, even how safe they
are; but I still would have to go through them.
Others have traveled this same road, gone through those same
tunnels. So it is with the things that
stand in my way to recovery. Others
have walked the walk that I must. Taken
the steps that I must take. I know that
the only way is to go through these "TUNNELS." I tried for years to go around them but they
still stood in my way. So today I ask
my HP for help to make my journey.
Mike J.
STEPS 11 & 12
Steps Eleven and Twelve are just as vital in Overeaters
Anonymous as in AA or Al-Anon for me. I
use the Eleventh Step in OA to try and discern God's will for me in how I eat,
when I eat, what I eat, and where I eat it.
I believe that God, as I understand God, will help me to learn to eat
differently; to look at my body image as something that God has set in motion;
and to understand that weight gained over forty plus years of overeating will
not disappear overnight ... at least if I do not take OA as a diet or calories
club.
There are plenty of people in OA who count their grams, or count
portions, or weigh things out. I am not
one of them. I recognize that at least
visually, weighing a portion out, and looking at it, can help me understand
what a reasonable portion of a food might be.
I don't mean reasonable in my eyes.
I could never guess what reasonable was, when it came to Twinkies,
doughnuts, ice cream with toppings dripping all over them. No, what I mean by reasonable is something
that professional dietitians have decided achieves the normal balanced
objectives of a good food plan.
Weighing and measuring would, I am sure, help me to scope that
out several times a day, and begin to integrate those portion sets into the
hardwire circuits of my brain. Except
that I ain't there yet.
I have put weight on over forty plus years by eating lots of the
wrong things. I am slowly trusting that
God will show me a better way to eat.
Better places to eat. Better
environments to eat in. Better things
to eat. One meal at a time. It astounds me that I really do like to have
lettuce in my refrigerator at all times now.
I really do not like to NOT have lettuce there. I have truly come to like Healthy Request
soups more with my meals. And cottage
cheese with drained fruits like pineapple and peaches. These would have been OUT years ago. And trying to stop eating peas and corn and
macaroni and cheese, which I have loved for years. I miss the former items ... I am happy to have not eaten M &
C for nine months now or more.
God, I believe, as I understand God, knows full well my longing
to have a sexy and svelte body.
Right! God knows that I
sometimes feel like crying when I get on the scales and don't see much positive
change ... meaning some loss of pounds, no matter how slight. And God knows when I obsess for parts of my
day over what I am going to eat. God
knows, too, when I should eat. God
definitely knows, I believe, what I should or shouldn't eat. I haven't died yet from not eating
doughnuts, so God must know that doughnuts are not really important to my well
being.
If I have put on all this weight over the course of forty plus
years, I am trying to patiently surrender to the idea that some of it will, by
natural effect of abstaining from many of the junk foods I used to consume,
getting more exercise, eating smaller portions, healthier foods, etc., come off
over the remainder of my life.
With Fibromyalgia, I am limited in what I can do, exercise wise,
to strip more weight from my body. I
used to bicycle and run and walk three to five miles at a brisk pace three or
four times a week. To do the former two
would really lay me out now, with my Fibromyalgia. And chronic depression calls for several antidepressants which
can also increase my appetite. I am,
therefore, in a slight "rock and a hard place" situation in that
regard.
But ... but ... God is always with me. God knows what I am trying to do, and respects my process and my
progress.
And of course, if I want to work the Twelfth Step, I must try
and carry this message to other overeaters, and to "practice these
principles in all my affairs."
In AA I have carried the message of recovery from alcohol (and
drugs) to others by chairing meetings, serving as annual chairperson in groups,
Intergroup Rep, giving leads, and in the narrower sense of "service"
... taking my brand of recovery to Vietnam vets and to inmates in various
prisons and jails.
On my last visit to Orient prison, I was interested to note how
many overweight convicts there were there.
Orient, for what it is worth, is the prison where medical cases for the
entire state penal system are sent. Now
that I am visiting my AA friend at London Correctional Institution, I also see
some but not as many overweight cons.
To be honest, I have never heard of any Al-Anon, Codependent's Anonymous
or Overeaters Anonymous meetings in jails or prisons.
But why not? That is something perhaps worth considering.
Another way I try to do service work in OA is to talk up the
value, for me, of these other programs, just as, in AA, I mention that I attend
Al-Anon and OA. In fact, I feel that by
mentioning I go to OA, I have helped several men friends in AA come into
OA. I do not regard it as terribly
embarrassing to mention I go to OA in AA meetings. Anyone who sees me will know I am doing the right thing. There are plenty of people in AA who I know,
having watched them over the years, pick up weight as they stayed in recovery
from alcohol and drugs. I am not the
only person in AA who has gotten fat staying sober.
Trying to be a staunch supporter of open-ended discussion
meetings in OA is another form of service to me. They are so few and far between around here. And chairing there. Giving OA leads. And recently, seeing if any OA men were interested in having a
men's only OA retreat at a monastery.
This is something I have done in AA, too.
Taking other men to a place where the whole raison d'être for
its existence is the Eleventh Step! A
place where we can ask professionals -- monks -- some of whom have been there
more than fifty years ... how to pray and meditate.
Not to convert anyone to that particular faith. Far from it. To go there, and try and have a sober (or hopefully, abstinent)
weekend with other OA men in recovery.
To bond at a deeper level. We
have been doing that for eight years in a particular AA group. I hope we can start that in OA, too.
Writing articles for The Sanctuary is still another way to do
service work in this program. I have a
gift for writing, and this is one way I can thank God for that gift. To share some of what I have in my head and
heart with you ... so that we can all stay in recovery from our various food
and compulsive eating/over eating, one day at a time, one bite at a time.
And for that, I am responsible.
Jerry E.
STEPS 10, 11 AND 12
These three steps go together for me as the daily maintenance
steps. Continue to take daily
inventory, listen to my HP in meditation, talk to HP in prayer, and try to find
a way to be useful no matter what group of people I happen to be with each day.
My first sponsor had suggested that I take the “Just for Today”
pamphlet, read it each day, choose one thing from it, concentrate on it and try
to find a way to accomplish it. She
used to talk about how the “Just for Today” writing was actually “The Program”
in short form.
My most recent sponsor suggested taking a daily inventory of
fear, anger, and any obsessive thinking.
I find that those three cover most of the ground for me. If the food starts calling my name, it’s
because one of those three need to be written about, or I need to pick up the
phone and talk to a friend in or out of program. My sponsor also suggested writing a short gratitude list at the
end of the daily inventory. It still
amazes me how my attitude often does a 180 degree turn around after a gratitude
list. Sometimes I use it if I’m having
trouble sleeping. (It’s relaxing, no
calories, and doesn’t require batteries!)
Sometimes I meditate on my HP while I’m doing the
gardening. I feel closer to HP when I
get closer to nature. I have also tried
the walking meditation where I concentrate on my HP, and found it worked real
well. I talk in prayer to my HP
frequently throughout the day. I begin
with the first three steps each morning (and as often as I need then after
that!). I have a list of people I pray
for each day--their health, abstinence, prosperity and sometimes I just ask my
HP to bring whatever is best for them into their lives.
I also ask that I be a blessing to my dysfunctional family. The times I get bent out of shape over
things that happen, I ask my HP to bless them and change me. I need to accept where I am with my life and
my relationships with family and friends before I can figure out (with HP’s
help, of course) what I need to change.
SERVICE - just a medium sized word with quite a wallop to
it! Not something I gave of my own free
will - not at first! I had a sponsor
who was BIG ON SERVICE and insisted that I find an area in which to give. I discovered that I received much more from
service than I ever gave to it. One of
the paradoxes of the program--like surrender to win.
Now that I’m back on Step 1, must be time to put the pen down.
OA Hugs to all - Anon.
Dayton
A TIME FOR THANKSGIVING
Some of you know my story--I was here, got abstinent, lost weight,
something happened, lost my abstinence, gained weight, dropped out, stayed
away, something happened, got back, got abstinent, lost weight. I am finding that many of you share my
story.
I am so grateful that the program is still here for me. Wouldn’t it have been a bummer if, when I
got ready to come back, nobody was here?
I think many of us take these things for granted. Meetings only exist because we show up. If nobody shows up, there is no
meeting. Thanks to all of you who
continue to show up.
This time around it is just as easy as it was the first time
around. But this time I am not taking
my abstinence for granted. I give thanks
for every day, every hour and every minute of my abstinence. I have finally stopped believing the lie
that my head tells me about taking just one bite. I have not found it necessary to try to see if that one is true
this time. How many times do I need to
test it out to know that it is not true for me? As many times as it takes, I guess. As hard as it sometimes is, I have found that it is easier just
not to take the first bite than to take it and think I can start over again
tomorrow. The last time that happened,
tomorrow took several years to get here.
I am thankful for that awareness.
I have been abstinent for about 22 months now. I made it through one holiday season,
numerous birthdays, celebrations at work, etc, etc--on and on forever! There’s always something, isn’t there? And then there are the relationships. I’ve even made it through those. And if there is one thing that I can really
justify eating over, it is a relationship not going the way I wanted it to
go! Seems like a miracle to me.
I give many thanks to my higher power for putting the women and
men in my life who have taught me lots of lessons over the last two years back
in program. I have learned to have
honest relationships--saying who I am and how I feel, and being able to hear
that from others. I have learned not to
take things personally. (Everything
everybody does is not intended to effect me after all! I have learned that I am not the center of
the universe. I know you all knew that,
but I didn’t.)
These days I am thankful for the fact that I do not know
everything. I used to think this made
me stupid. But you do not know what you
do not know until you know it! And the
knowing I am getting this year is on the inside. Things are finally dropping from my head to my heart. And I am becoming teachable. Thank you all for being my teachers.
Today my life is good. My
youngest daughter turned 18 on Friday and I am EMANCIPATED!! She gets married next week and I wish her
well on her path. I have learned that
my children, friends, relatives, etc. are not a reflection of me. They are unique individuals just as I am,
and have choices to make--just as I do.
I thank God for them all.
I am especially thankful for having the opportunity to work with
Claudia on the paper this year. I don’t
think anyone realizes the work that Claudia has put into the paper to
make it a success. I merely show up and
straighten up the lines so you all can read it easier. (At least that is what she has deemed my job
to be!) Claudia has been a very big
gift in my life. She has taught me to
laugh a lot, and to lighten up and not to take myself so seriously. I have worked very hard at it and believe I
have had a bit of success!!
This is the season for “thanks giving,” after all, and I am
thankful. This is new for me. And I like it.
Judy Damico
E.T. GO HOME
I remember as a teenager sometimes fantasizing that I was an
alien space baby that had been left on this strange planet for some
reason. I didn't really believe it but
I thought it would sure explain some things in my life. I never really felt like I belonged
here. My compulsive overeating just
made the feeling worse. I had tried
once or twice to tell a friend about my problems with food. They looked at me as if I had suddenly grown
tentacles and antennae. They could not
understand and were a little frightened.
I knew we would both pretend the conversation had never happened. It just pointed out to me again how
"alien" I was.
I got over being a teenager but my compulsive overeating kept my
feeling like a space alien through my twenties. When helpful people saw my weight and eating problem they would
share useful ideas like "just put the fork down" or "just skip
dessert some days". To me it felt
like they were talking some alien language.
Oh, I understood the words but given my experience they didn't make any
sense, they didn't offer any real hope.
It was like they were telling me to solve my problem by levitating or
making myself invisible. They were nice
ideas but nothing I was capable of doing.
Then I went to my first OA meeting. Right away I knew this was different! People were actually talking about the crazy things they did with
food! These were the same things I did!
They had a name for it, compulsive overeating. I learned that there were other people out there that had the
same experiences with food that I did.
I learned that there were some steps we could take that would help
us. I heard how OA had worked in their
lives. For the first time in a long time I felt that I was home! These people
were my people. They understood me and
I understood them.
Now I'm out there trying to contact other lost alien space
babies. I am so grateful to those who
"found" me that I just have to pass on the word to others like me. It is hard sometimes. Many of them don't realize what they really
are and that there are people out there who can help. I keep going because it helps me remember who I really am. I keep going because this is my real family! Thanks OA!
The mother ship has landed. Come
on board!
-K.G.,
Goshen, Indiana - reprinted from Monarch Monthly Online -
September 2000
GIFTS
One of the joys of recovery is the gifts it gives me. Like
Christmas when I was a kid. The
difference being the gifts. Today I
can't always hold them in my hand but rather in my heart. I hope that I NEVER grow up and loose that
joy. Mike J.
STEP TWELVE
"Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these
steps, we tried to carry this message to other compulsive overeaters and
practice these principles in all our affairs."
I have had a spiritual awakening as the result of these
steps. The spiritual awakening is, of
course, the knowledge that I have some kind of Higher Power, that I personally
choose to call GOD, and that awakening is THE direct result of my having worked
the other eleven steps of ... Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, Adult Children of
Alcoholics, Codependents Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Overeater's Anonymous,
and working through therapy to deal with numerous issues, as well as working on
the after effects of Vietnam combat.
"The" result not "a" result. In NA, I know, they say "a
result." The primary result of
these actions, working these steps, traditions, concepts, etc., is a spiritual
awakening to the fact that I have obsessive compulsive diseases ... this one of
course, being compulsive overeating.
As far as "the result" of working these steps of OA, I
find that I have a spiritual awakening to the fact that I have issues with
weight, body image and food. And that
God, in my belief, has a beautiful image of how much I should weigh, what my
body image should be, and how I relate to food (as Veronica F. says: "with
sanity.")
So, having had that spiritual awakening, I try to carry this
particular message to other compulsive overeaters. As an eighteen year veteran of AA, I can easily see that I am not
the only AA-er who has switched addictions many times, and has settled into
compulsive overeating. I can easily
carry this message by announcing, when I introduce myself at AA and Al-Anon
meetings, that I also attend Overeater's Anonymous. In fact, I have had at least four AA men come to me after
meetings, and one Al-Anon man, and ask about OA. Currently, three of those AA men attend OA meetings.
This feels like tremendous service work to me.
As someone multiply addicted, I introduce myself as an AA,
Al-Anon and Overeater. I spread that
message of multiple addictions and leave the rest to God, as I understand God. Others have inquired, or admitted to torment
about food, or weight, or body image.
Some continue to struggle. I see
others that I share privately with. I
am always ready, willing and able to share the OA message with other multiply
addicted men and women. This feels like
tremendous service.
In the future, I will continue to do that.
I do more service work with Vietnam veterans and alcoholics and
addicts inside prisons and jails. As
such, I carry this multiply addicted message to them, also. If, at some future occasion, one of them
asks me about that, I will easily share my experience, strength and hope with
them about these things. In this, I try
to carry this message forward and to practice these principles in all my
affairs.
That latter part is extremely difficult. I am not always a shining example of being a
perfectly recovering alcoholic, addict and compulsive overeater. My defects of character often flare up in
other areas. All of them are about a
persistent, unremitting belief inside that I am somehow empty, and less
than. In spite of all the wonderful
work and experiences I have had at healing, those feelings of less than are
still there. Amazing. Hence, the primary reason I "keep
coming back."
Jerry E.
HOW IMPORTANT IS IT
ANYWAY???????
I read that when confronted with an issue, place a value on
it. Ask yourself, will I even remember
this problem 5 years from now? Will I
remember
it a year from now, six
months, a month? When you can put a
SIZE to it, it shrinks in importance. How many things in my life seemed like
mountains at the time and today I can't remember them?
Mike J.
Q & J’S TOP 10 LIST --
Of Things You Can do Instead
of Compulsively Overeating During the Holidays
10. Put on 3 coats of lipstick and 5 golden
thumb rings on and attempt to play your friend’s flute.
9. Make an outreach call with cheese cloth over the mouthpiece,
pretending to be OA founder, Rozanne.
8. Get a group together and paint turkeys and cakes on your
faces. (Group activities are not
necessary. You can do these by
yourselves!)
7. Make pies with Play Dough and give them to all your friends
insisting they are real.
6. Come out of the kitchen using the turkey carcass as a puppet.
5. Sing the Promises to the tune of “We Wish you a Merry Christmas.”
4. Glue Santa’s Christmas cookies to the plate.
3. Switch the tags on the Christmas gifts while others are sleeping.
2. After placing a burning
bag of figgie pudding on Judy’s porch, ring her doorbell and watch her stomp it
out.
1. Poke Tim and Claudia with candy canes, chocolate Santas, and
ribbon candy and watch them recoil from it as from a hot flame, while holding
your Big Books up and chanting “this is How It Works.”
SMART ENOUGH
Someone once told me that to be an addict you have to be smart
enough to lie to yourself convincingly.
I don't know if all that is
true but I do know that:
I can analyze
I can rationalize
I can inspect
I can dissect
and reflect
And when all that is done, the issues are still there.
WOW!!! What a lot of
wasted energy. Only by asking my HP for help, quietly listening and making
myself available to change can I find peace with my issues.
Mike J.
MY INCREDIBLE RECOVERY
As I walk this recovery path and make my journey to wholeness, I
am immensely overwhelmed by the depth I have grown in this program as a woman,
friend, wife, mother, sister, daughter and grandmother. To have experienced all these stages and phases
of life and to have done so abstinently for the past 12 years is so far beyond
what I could have ever expected to be available to me when I first walked in
the OA door on July 28, 1988.
I had a hole in my soul that only a spiritual solution could
heal. Yet I did not believe that was the
problem at the time. If I could just
lose some weight I would like myself better, my husband would pay more
attention to me, my parents would respect me and treat me like an adult. I thought my boss and coworkers would
realize how smart and important I was and my kids wouldn’t be embarrassed by my
looks. Thank God I found OA and I found
BECKY.
As I gained in days of sane eating and in abstinent living, I
discovered that there was a whole different person buried deep inside my
physical body that was screaming desperately to get out--to be noticed and
appreciated, to be brave and courageous.
And out she came--sometimes too forcefully, sometimes still a doormat,
and sometimes still a victim.
But no more! No more
doormat and no more victim. Sometimes
still a little too forceful. But I try
to use that to my HP’s glory to shout to the world the word that there is
freedom from food and freedom from the bondage of self, if I but surrender to
that power that is far greater than my finite limited self.
Self-will got me to the doors of OA. Absolute acceptance of the nature of my chronic, incurable
condition of which the only answer is spiritual-- relying on God or HP in all
my affairs keeps me here. Working with
others has its own vast recovery reward.
A family member asked me today if I “get paid” for the work I do in
OA. I easily replied that the spiritual
rewards for work and service I do pay me immensely.
As I heard at the World Service Convention 2000, a sponsor had
made about 1,000 12-step calls to folks who mostly “didn’t get it” and yet they
felt all the 12-step calls were successes.
While few others had gotten sober, that one sponsor still was. So it is with me. It isn’t the number of newcomers or old-timers that find abstinence
and sobriety working with me that makes me a successful sponsor. It is the very fact that by working with
others I remain sober.
So that is why I do it.
It saves me from going back to what I came from, what I needed escape
and relief from. In OA I find all I
need to live sober, abstinent, happy, joyous and free, if I but merely follow a
few simple “rules.”
Thank God for OA and for all of us who once darkened the door
with despair, found a spiritual solution to solve our “problem,” and stayed to
brighten and lighten the loads and the lives of countless others who have since
followed and who may not have yet found us.
Abstinence is JUST the beginning of sane and useful living.
As per page 19 of the Big Book in Chapter 2, There is a Solution,
“Of necessity there will have to be discussion of matters medical, psychiatric,
social and religious.” Hence, this
program applies to “All areas of my life,” and also to remember “A much more
important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective
homes, occupations, and affairs”--Tradition 12 at work--Anonymity is the
spiritual foundation of all these traditions, ever reminding us to place
principles before personalities.
May we all keep coming
back.
Becky Cooney - Oct 2000
DISCIPLINE
That dreaded bugaboo!
How I hate knowing exactly what’s coming next! Need that little feeling that I’ve got the
final say! (Even if I do know--t’ain’t
so!)
Heard it said--discipline brings freedom. Still feel like I’m being fenced in, only
allowed to do this much--and no more.
The discipline of abstinence brings the freedom from excess food
and excess weight. It also brings the
freedom of sobriety. My choices for the
day are a little clearer once the fog has lifted from my enshrouded mind.
The discipline of the program brings me a freedom to be
myself. After working the steps and
doing the inventories, I know a little better who I am -- the real me deep down
inside -- my fears and my joys. I have
the freedom to become more aware of how I feel about things, and find the
courage to act on it with a great deal of help from HP.
This discipline also helps me to get in touch with my Higher
Power, that I may better hear what his will is for me--just for today! Just for today, I can do this discipline and
become healthier in body, mind, and spirit.
Sometimes, when I try to “let go,” I leave claw marks!
Anon Dayton
OA HAPPENINGS
November 18th (Saturday)
10:30 a.m.
Greater Dayton Intergroup
meeting.
Election of officers --
Secretary and Vice Chair.
November 18th - Immediately
following Intergroup
IDEA Day
(All OA'S welcome and
encouraged to attend.)
OA potluck to
"Celebrate Our Servants"
Please attend to recognize
and support all our service workers, and to be recognized. No job is too small to be honored. Bring an abstinent dish to share. Bring your own drink. Paper goods to be provided.
December 15th (Friday Night)
Christmas Party
Tentative plans underway to
reserve a room at the Ponderosa in Huber Heights. Any other suggestions or ideas are welcome. Please E-mail or call Becky, or bring your
ideas to Intergroup on Nov. 18.
Jan 20th, 2001 (Saturday)
OA’S birthday Party Day
Keep this in mind, as
something will likely be going on.
Feb. 24, 2001 (Saturday)
Unity Day
Any ideas anyone has for
celebrating and honoring these days, please let Becky know. We want to offer fellowship and recovery
opportunities that will meet your recovery needs.
March 16, 17 and 18, 2001 (Friday-Sunday)
Maria Stein Retreat
October 26, 27, and 28, 2001
Region V Convention 2001
Fairborn Holiday Inn
Our theme is 2001--A
Recovery Odyssey
The very first Region V
Convention was in Dayton 21 years
ago. All volunteers are welcome. Bring your ideas to Intergroup or send them
to one of the Intergroup Officers.
THANK-YOU
I wanted to take the time to thank everyone who so graciously
devoted their time and their talent to The Sanctuary this year.
Thank-You Judy for your support and your hard work.
I wish you a Happy Holiday, filled with LOVE, PEACE and JOY of
the Spirit.
I will look forward to next year and 6 new issues. I am still looking for a theme. I will ask the Boss. I am sure He will have a couple suggestions.
May your walk up the steps of recovery be blessed and your
Highest Needs be met.
Thank-You for allowing me to
write this newsletter.
Love,
Q (Claudia)