Mary

I was desperate.  I could not figure out why I could not stop eating.  I stood peering into the open refrigerator, looking for something, anything.  My inner voice said Mary, you have had anything you wanted to eat, anytime you wanted to have it and in any quantity, and you still have a hole.  I felt so empty inside.  Somehow, I knew that was a call to something bigger than just a food program.

I had heard about O.A. on television twenty years earlier from a celebrity who had broken anonymity.  I felt like he was speaking to me.  I tucked the information away in my brain for later reference.  I was thin and working a program, so I thought Id wait until I really needed it.  Little did I know, how intense the disease of compulsive overeating would be.

The following week, while attending a weigh-in meeting, I heard a young woman share her disappointment.  After riding her new exercise bike for a week, she had only lost 1/4 pound.  My inner voice said; Miss, you and I both have a problem bigger than our weight.

That afternoon, I began searching for an O.A. meeting in my area.  It took me a week of calling churches and reaching disconnected phone numbers to find a meeting.

At my first meeting, I noticed that all the ladies were middle aged and obese.  During the break, I saw myself in a full-length mirror.  I was middle aged and obese!

It was a two-hour meeting.  I tried to take in everything.  But, it wasn’t until the close of the meeting that I knew for sure I was in the right place.  We all joined hands in a large circle and recited The Lords Prayer.  The tears rolled down my face as I realized how far away from God I had removed myself, and how long it had been since I had said that prayer.  Since that first meeting, ten years ago, I have started meetings and supported meetings with my service.