The Online Newsletter of the Three Rivers Intergroup

February 2001

Step Tools

The tools of our program are the stepping stones to taking the Steps.

Literature is one of my favorite tools. Since our town has only two meetings a week, and the closest meeting is over two hours away, we depend on the OA literature. It explains the Steps to me as a longtime member would. Other literature, including Lifeline, tells me what miracles to expect when working the Steps. It gives me the courage to keep on working those Steps toward a saner and happier life.

OA wouldn't be OA without the meetings. They show me that while I need to work this program, I cannot do it alone. They make the second Step very tangible and give me an opportunity for valuable Twelfth-Step work. Arriving early at meetings and leaving late provide me with those opportunities. I can answer questions from newcomers and keep in touch with the still-suffering compulsive overeater. At meetings I hear how OAers work the Steps, and I learn the results that newcomers and long-timers experience.

Writing is necessary to clear my head so that I can focus on the Steps. Otherwise, I remain stuck in the emotions of the day. Writing keeps me working the Tenth Step. I can look back on what I wrote to find new character defects and to see new recovery. The Twelve-Step workbook guides my sponsorees and me through the Twelve Steps while writing and sharing.

Sponsoring is the greatest gift for me. When my sponsorees are working the Steps, I am motivated to keep going. Without sponsorees and/or a sponsor, it's easy to become stuck in a Step. When I come up with creative Step assignments for sponsorees, I try them myself. Usually they help me, too. My own sponsor is a witness to my program, and she helps me to be honest as I work each Step.

Service keeps our Fellowship alive, and I need the Fellowship to recover. When I'm having a hard time with food, doing service encourages me to bring my body to meetings. Service is a pleasure. Recovery can be fun, too, because the tangible results are there.

When I could accept an increasing phone bill, my recovery improved. It took over two years to start using this tool. Sharing on the phone alleviates the hassles of the day. It gives me the opportunity to talk with long-time OAers who live in different towns. I receive more Step experience beyond what my home meeting offers. It allows me to discuss Steps on a one-to-one basis when I feel the need.

Anonymity enables me to focus on what is in the Steps. I don't have to become a celebrity in OA. I don't have to save the world from compulsive overeating. I just have to work the Steps for me and share from my experience as a compulsive overeater.

I really want to get "sober" in OA. I still don't know what comes first - working the Steps or figuring out a food plan. All I know is that at this point in program, whatever food plan seems appropriate for me, I need the Steps to stay with it. It's a cycle - the more I work the Steps, the more honest I can be about my food, the better the food gets and the more honest I become with the Steps.

- J.P., The Netherlands (Lifeline, October 1998)

Rejuvenate, Rejoice!

I am writing this as an expression of my gratitude for 34 days of newfound abstinence. I struggled for the past two years with a major depression. It was one the hardest times of my life. Some days I couldn't get out of bed; other days I turned to the comfort of certain foods to help me make it through the day. I never binged, but I lost the ability to say "No, thank you." I made poor choices, and I ate at inappropriate times. Today, I wear the results of those actions - 20 additional pounds.

A Wednesday night OA meeting changed things for me. That day I had just received my copy of the new OA book on recovery from relapse [A New Beginning]. I took it to the meeting and asked the group if they would like to read from it. Everyone agreed; we picked a story at random and began discussing it. When we reached the end, the next person decided to read the foreword by Rozanne S. entitled "A Zest for Living." Suddenly, I began to have a spiritual awakening.

I heard something important in that reading - that as a long-timer, I have to find a way to rejuvenate my program. It's nobody's responsibility but mine. I started to think about what I was doing for my recovery. Yes, I was still going to meetings. I was doing some sporadic service, using the telephone, writing fairly regularly and even sharing it with another human being. Yet something was missing. I needed to recommit to abstinence and to the program.

I volunteered to be treasurer for the Wednesday night group. I increased my meetings and began to work with a newcomer. I started calling my sponsor more often and being more honest about what was going on in my life. I took the names and numbers of several newcomers that I had seen in recent meetings and actually picked up the phone and called them. I began to read the OA pamphlet on abstinence as part of my morning meditations. I invited God back into the world of my food. In return, He gave me the ability to say "No, thank you," reminding me that nothing tastes as good as abstinence feels. That started a shift in my attitude that continues to this day.

Thank you, God and fellow OA members, for the key to a new way of life. I am truly grateful to the members of my home group and to every one who worked long hours to put together our new book. I could not have done it without you. I'm excited about my program once again, and I'm celebrating the fact that "Together We Can!" Tomorrow night, my sponsor will present me with a 30-day chip. As I receive that token, I will acknowledge the fact that the program does indeed work if I am willing to do my part. That's a big if, one that I cannot do alone. It is a miracle that I have come this far, and I look forward to the next leg of my journey.

- S.S., Baton Rouge, Louisiana USA (Lifeline, October 1998)

1. If you don’t already have a sponsor, get one.



Don’t procrastinate. I didn’t have a sponsor for my first two years in OA. Although it was good that I kept showing up to meetings, my recovery didn’t begin until I got a sponsor and started working the steps. When no one was available to sponsor me locally, I got an interim sponsor through the "Sponsor By Mail" directory from OA World Service Office. I also found a sponsor on the OA e-mail list.
 

2. Always be honest with your sponsor.



I can’t tell you how many times I’ve lied to my sponsor. I would have a food slip or outright binge and shame would keep me silent. After all, if I told my sponsor what I had done with food then my sponsor might think I was an overeater! But the OA program reminds me that it is "weakness, not strength that binds us to each other." Even more importantly, the basis of our recovery is rigorous honesty. Lying to my sponsor keeps me in my disease and stops me from getting well.
 

3. Maintain frequent contact with your sponsor.



I try to call my sponsor every day, even if it’s just to leave a message on the answering machine. As a newcomer, I used to think that phone calls were a way for my sponsor to keep tabs on me, to make sure that I was eating the right foods in the right amounts. Now I know that calling my sponsor is something that I do to help me stay aware and focused on how I am working my OA program. And because I never have to do anything alone in OA, my sponsor is there to help me build self-awareness. The more contact I have with my sponsor, the greater my chances of recovery.
 

4. Don’t be afraid to ask your sponsor for what you need.