1.
Bill W.'s sixth month
How many of you have heard the story of Bill W.’s sixth month? Well, the story goes that Bill W. had been
sober for six months and was feeling a little down. He said to his wife, “Here I have been working with these drunks
for six months and not one of them has stayed sober. What’s the use!?” His wife
replied, “I know one drunk that has stayed sober.” “Who?” Bill asked. “You!” his wife replied.
Although Bill’s service didn’t save anyone else during that first six months
his service kept him sober. And that
is why we came here isn’t it? To get
and stay abstinent. Show up, do the
footwork and turn over the outcome. Sometimes
I get disappointed when someone I’m working with doesn’t get recovery.
But then I remind myself that I’m here for my recovery and not someone
else’s recovery. Service keeps me recovering.
2.
My sponsor does service.
I think he is a really great person. I
want what he has so I do what he does. If
you look around at the long timers in the program you will see that they all
do service. I want to be like them
so I do service.
3.
Sometimes I don't want to go to meetings.
Luckily though I signed up to carry the key or to lead or to bring the newsletters
from the Intergroup or to meet a sponsoree after the meeting or to drop off
another copy of the OA 12&12. My
commitment to service gets me there even when I didn’t think I really wanted
to be there. And you know what?
It never ceases to amaze me but I am always glad I came once I get
to the meeting.
4.
Service helps me feel I have something to give back.
Before OA I didn’t feel I was worth anything either to myself or to anyone
else. Now I know that I have a special
gift. I am a compulsive overeater
and I can reach other compulsive overeaters in a way that no professional,
friend, family member or clergy can. All
of us here today are special and can reach out to other compulsive overeaters
in ways that 99% of the people in the world can’t.
Maybe that service is just showing up for meetings regularly. Maybe that service is sharing about my recovery.
Maybe that service is putting out the literature.
Maybe that service is recommending literature to newcomers.
Maybe that service is carrying the key.
I don’t think I’ve ever met a compulsive who didn’t have something
to offer.
5.
Service helps me try my hand at new things.
How many people here like change? Well,
as much as I want to grow change is still a little scary to me. Before OA I didn’t want to take on new responsibilities
because I wouldn’t be able to do them perfectly. In OA, I am surrounded by loving, accepting and appreciative friends.
I can’t think of a better place to experiment and try new things.
Service encourages me to try new things to grow a little, to stretch
my wings.
Has anyone ever felt that service was boring?
Be honest now! Well, I have
gotten bored with service many times. Do
you know what the answer for me was? Switch
to a new kind of service that interests me more. Many of you know I develop websites for Region
V. I was feeling limited in the service
I was giving so I came up with some totally new kinds of service that I found
challenging and exciting.
6.
Service is my life insurance.
How many of you get scared when a meeting closes down? Do you wonder how long OA will still be around?
I know I need OA to keep growing in my recovery.
I do service to help insure that OA will be there for me in the future. I have heard many stories where someone took
as a sponsor someone that they had sponsored years earlier. That is one case where doing service could
save my recovery someday.
Some of you know I also set up the Region 5 email directory. I remember the day I came up with the idea.
I was thinking about what would happen if there was no OA in Goshen
any more. Then I remembered that there
would still be people in OA all over Region 5.
I realized that although it might be harder I could still recover with
no OA in Goshen. I needed to keep in touch with other recovering OAs across Region
5. That is how the Region 5 email
directory got started.
7.
Service helps me get out of myself.
Do you ever feel trapped? I don’t
know about you but sometimes I get trapped in stinking thinking. I have a good mind but boy it sure can get
carried away sometimes. I start obsessing
about things I can’t change. The next
thing I know I start to isolate myself.
Service forces me to start reconnecting with the real world again. When I am making an OA phone call, it is very
difficult for me to feel isolated. It
is seldom that I don’t feel better, more balanced, after making that call.
It is very difficult for me to stay stuck in myself when I am listening
to someone else.
8.
Service with newcomers reminds me.
I heard the slogan once, “The farther you are from your last binge, the closer
you are to your next one.” That means
complacency is a very dangerous threat with this disease. After having been abstinent for months or years
it is just too easy to get careless. “Do
I really have to keep doing now what I did when I started recovering?”
“Maybe I can skip a meeting, just this week.”
But when I talk with newcomers I remember.
I remember the despair and agony of being in the compulsive overeating
again. I remember the hopelessness
and the emptiness. I also remember
the joy of starting my recovery. I
remember the taste of hope again after not having tasted it for so many years. When I remember all these things, the last
thing I want to be is complacent or careless!
9.
If I'm doing service, I’m not overeating.
Simply, time spent doing service is time I don't spend overeating. It just doesn’t feel like an option to be binging
during an Intergroup meeting. When
my hands are full of literature as I am setting up a meeting I can’t handle
a donut. I know my sponsoree would
hear me eating Doritoes when we talked on the phone. There simply isn’t any food at many of the
meeting places I lead meetings.
10.
By giving service in OA I am fertilizing my recovery.
OA is something that nurtures me and encourages me to grow. By reinvesting my life energy in OA through
service, I am nurturing and helping OA to grow. I used to invest my life energy into people, places and things that
ground me down, told me how worthless I was and discouraged my growth.
Through OA I finally realized that I just couldn’t afford to throw away my
life energy like that anymore. Life
is like a box of chocolates… oops,
wrong analogy. Life is like a bank
account. I make deposits into my bank
so that when I have a need I can make a withdrawal and get back what I deposited
plus interest.
What if I made a deposit in a new bank and the teller said I owed them more
money and that I was stupid, too? I
sure wouldn’t make any more deposits in that bank. But what about me continuing to invest my life energy in people,
places and things that grind me down, tell me I am worthless and discourage
my growth. How is that any different? Would I keep going back again and again to
the same behavior expecting that this time will be treated differently?
11.
Service exposes me to people who have what I want.
Service at the Intergroup, Region and World levels exposes me to more people
with long-term recovery. I see in
them things I want for myself and I am drawn to grow more. I am drawn to do what they did so I can get what they have.
Have you ever tried to SHOULD yourself into something? I SHOULD be a nicer person. I SHOULD help out my friend. I SHOULD stop with one piece of dessert.
Somewhere I heard the slogan, “Thou shalt not SHOULD on thyself.”
I don’t know about you but SHOULDing seldom worked for me. Usually it just made me resentful and guilty
and that made it even harder to change.
But when I came to OA I saw people who had what I wanted and they told me
how they got it. Well, that got my
attention! If there is something I
want bad enough, I am willing to follow directions, eventually. The trick in recovery is that I must keep exposing
myself to people who have qualities that I want in my life.
12.
The three rules of life or in this case, the three rules of service.
The Golden Rule. Do to others as you
would have them do to you. I do service
for others because I want others to do service for me.
The Silver Rule: Do for yourself what
you would do for others. I do service
for myself because I am just as worthy of it as anyone else.
The Iron Rule: Do not do for others
what they can or should do for themselves.
This is my service boundary, my limit on the service I do. If I am always giving service and others are
always taking then it is time to re-evaluate the situation. If I am getting resentful about giving service
then it is probably time to stop giving that service. I need to remember that the first reason I
give service is to help my recovery not to hurt it.
-K.G., Goshen, Indiana
