The Online Newsletter of the Three Rivers Intergroup
April 2001
In looking at Step 1 again, I reread things that I had written over my 7 years in OA. I was discouraged to see I would still write the same things today, that I couldn’t see any new insights. I was bothered by the fact that I had lost a 3 week abstinence to some girl scout cookies this week. What had gone wrong? “Well,” I said to myself, “I’m just too tired and too busy.” Ah ha! There it was. Two enemies of my recovery that come disguised as friends of my recovery. “To busy” comes in as “I’m doing a good job at work, I’m attending to details, I must stay after hour to work with students, on projects, whatever.”
“Too tired” joins “too busy” and say “You’ve been working so many hours and been so busy you just need to stay home and rest tonight. You can go to the gym and work out tomorrow. You don’t need to call friends and family. You’ve talked to too many people already today. You need alone time. You can email your sponsor tomorrow.”
I’m noticing that when these “too” enemies get together its not long before “Let’s Eat” shows up.
I don’t want to invite these enemies to my recovery into my life anymore. It’s all about balance. Recognizing my enemies is part of my newest realization in Step 1. My life becomes unmanageable when I listen to “too busy” and “too tired”.
-D.P., Goshen, Indiana
I had a schedule change and decided to go to another meeting this week. During the day at work I thought a number of times, “Maybe I’ll be too tired at the end of the day. Maybe I should just plan to go home. What can I get out of just one more meeting?” But something made me decide not to pass up the opportunity so after work I headed off to the meeting.
The leader chose the topic of fellowship. There were several people I knew well there. There were a couple newcomers. There was one OA friend who had returned after dropping out of the program for many years. One of the people I didn’t know was a man. Men are scarce in OA in my area. We struck up a conversation after the meeting and I learned he was a newcomer. We talked about some of his questions, had a real nice conversation and I gave him my email address. The next day I had an email from him and we have exchanged a few messages since.
I am continually amazed at how my HP works in my life. Here I was thinking, “What can I get out of just one more meeting?” In reality I got a lot of fellowship, encouragement and the opportunity to work with a male newcomer. It just shows me again that if I am willing to get outside side of myself and reach out to others my Higher Power has all sorts of wonderful things waiting for me. Thanks HP!
-K.G., Goshen, Indiana
My heart tugs when a newcomer comes to a new meeting. Unfortunately I often don’t follow through on my good intentions to call them, to reach out, but I almost always remember to pray for them – hoping they will stay. Hoping they will work the program. That they will continue even when it hurts. Hoping they will find the courage, strength and willingness to surrender to a Higher Power – allowing Him to heal the broken areas of his/her life.
Sadly, I have noticed that many, many newcomers do not stay. I suppose it’s too new, to scary. It’s frightening to think – to even conceive of trying to survive life without excess food. And it is scary. I had some very terrible binges after I joined OA. I was terrified and I guess I needed to prove to myself that I could still binge if I “needed” to in order to get through life.
Of course, now I know that my “need” for excess food is only a false perception. I never need food to deal with anything other than physical hunger. God brings to me everything I need to fill the emotional and spiritual needs I have if I ask Him, believing that He will and trusting His solutions.
The energy and enthusiasm of newcomers is refreshing and adds to my sometimes waning store. It reminds me of where I’ve come from – of why I need to be a part of OA! Sometimes though I find myself hoping they will find a stable, steady pace in their OA involvement. I hope they will see it as a life-long process of growth more than a “quick-fix-it” plan. I hope they are willing or will get willing to look at all the areas of their life and not just food, which is often, if not always, a symptom of the real problems.
-A.H., Goshen, Indiana
How many relapses does it take to obtain abstinence?
When I joined OA 8 ½ years ago, relapse was not in my vocabulary. I thought “that” will never happen to me! Think again. Within the last 3 years I’ve experienced 3 major relapses. No, not “slips” but returning to old eating habits, use of time and choosing to not attend OA meetings – even though I felt miserable sitting at home with my 2 “best friends” – food and TV.
Each time I returned to OA, it was with a deeper understanding of the program. During each relapse, OA persons continued to reach out, to call and email me. I knew they cared about me.
-V.G., Elkhart, Indiana
Sometimes I feel trapped within myself. I feel like one of those little toy cars on a circular track. I go round and round. I can speed up or slow down but I still don’t get anywhere.
Before OA I spent most of my life on that circular track. I kept doing the same things over and over, hoping and praying that I would get a different outcome. It never happened but I didn’t know what else to do.
Then I went to my first OA meeting. I was willing to try anything. Here people talked about a whole new way of doing things. I was interested. I had to be. Approaching 300 pounds, my life had been getting smaller and smaller.
I felt safe at those OA meetings and I started reaching out to others. I started talking about my pain and hopelessness. People listened and understood. I wasn’t alone in this disease anymore. Listening to other people sharing their successes and setbacks I decided to try something different, to try some of the things people around me were trying. I tried working the steps. I tried turning over my day to my Higher Power. I got off my circular track. Just a little bit at first but then more and more. I learned that life off the track could be wonderful. After awhile I learned that even my worst times off the track were better than my best times on the track.
Now I spend most of my life off the track. Sometimes I find myself back on the track going in circles but I know now that I can choose for today. I just have to turn my will and life over to my Higher Power, work the steps and I can leave that circular track for today. Thanks HP for a life so much bigger than my old circular track!
-K.G., Goshen, Indiana