OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS THREE RIVERS
INTERGROUP MINUTES
January 27, 2003
OFFICERS PRESENT:
Chairperson:
Kevin G
Vice
Chair: Dee G
Secretary:
Mimi W
Treasurer:
Absent
Region
Reps: Kevin G, Marilyn and alternate Suzette R
Groups
Represented:
Monday Fort WaynePark
Center 7:30
pm
Tuesday GoshenFirst Presbyterian Church 6:00 pm
Wednesday Columbia City Parkview Whitley Hospital 7:00 pm
Thursday New HavenNew
Horizons Fellowship Church 10:00
am
Saturday GoshenTrinity Lutheran Church 10:00 am
Saturday GoshenTrinity Lutheran Church 11:15 am
Saturday Fort WayneEast State Medical Center 2:00 pm
MINUTES:
The
minutes were read and accepted as corrected.
TREASURER'S REPORT:
The
treasurer's report was read and accepted.
COMMITTEE
REPORTS:
TELEPHONE:
Dee
10, Kevin 3, Loretta 1, Mimi 3, Donna 3
NEWSLETTER:
We
wish Marcia a quick recovery. Kevin did a great job on a mini newsletter.
PUBLICITY:
All
ads are the same. Frost Illustrated, Senior Life, and Channel 55
LITERATURE:
Only
one new BIG BOOK left. The motion was made, seconded, and carried to order
another case. We should be good on everything else.
OLD BUSINESS:
The
bylaws are not yet
finished.
NEW BUSINESS:
The
spring workshop was discussed. Goshen will host this workshop.
The tentative dates for the workshop are March 15 or March 22, 2003. The theme for this workshop will be COME OUT OF
YOUR COCOON.
We
had several suggestions for speakers. We will check with these people and see
who we can get. Kevin will do a flyer to hand out with directions to meeting locations.
We will have the Chinese auction. Dee will get speaker gifts. Columbia City group will take care of
literature. Fort Wayne group will take care of
decorations. Registration is $20.00 at the door. We need greeters and huggers,
maybe Garrett group will do this for us.
The
meeting was adjourned.
Respectfully
submitted:
Mimi
W., Secretary
Changes since last month:
Vera’s
Phone has changed, Mike’s has been added – See We Care Outreach List
There
are several minor changes in the Meeting List. Check the list before going to a
meeting to see if the meeting of your choice has been affected.
Debbie
will be joining me in the production of the newsletter, making us a staff.
Thanks Debbie.
INTO THE HEART OF ME
rom the beginning of my quest for recovery it has been
pointed out to me that working the Steps was the answer to my problems.
Well, I was in a hurry to get this stuff
out of the way and energetic to work my new program to the very best of my
ability – and I did.
And I thought I understood it when they told me this was a lifelong journey,
but I didn’t. It’s real easy for me and those others like me to work real hard
for awhile and then slack off, thinking we’ve got it this time: we need to do a
10th Step often, sure, and being something of superstars we load up on the
service.
But all the time we’ve told ourselves how great we’re doing
we’ve continued to suffer. It is an axiom that my life is unmanageable due to
my compulsive eating but at the same time I enjoyed the unmanageability because
it gave me plenty of excuses to eat. “OH, POOR ME! I’m doing all this stuff and being in service
and even told all my disgusting secrets to God and another person, and I can’t
stay out of the food! I guess this program wasn’t made for folks as broken and
damaged as me!”
But I’ve come to find out that this program can and will
work for me, if I’m willing to go all the way with it and hold nothing back.
I began by writing down my feelings each morning and asking God for relief, and
as I wrote I began to see how resentful I was at everyone around me – and I
hadn’t even been aware of it! So I began to include 4th Steps as I wrote and as
I did more and more 4th Steps I began to isolate my fears, my self
centered fears that had been plaguing me all my life. These - and there weren’t
as many as you might think – were my
character defects.
And what did they turn out to be? Mostly RESENTMENTS AGAINST
ME. In this way I began the journey into the very heart of me. I worked the
steps (on myself) as written: I am resentful at [loath, ashamed of,
disgusted with, hate] myself, and this effects (almost always) my self esteem
and I’m afraid (almost always) that I am the lowest, most useless, less
than…... I shared these fears with God and another human being and then began
to pray. And I prayed each day for God to make me entirely ready to have them
removed. When I thought I was ready I humbly ask Him to remove them and then I
made a list of all the ways I’d harmed (me) and became willing to make amends
to (me).
And here’s
the good part: Having sat down and put my amends (to me) in writing and allowed
myself to see the person (me) who had harmed him, as just a person who had a
disease, a person no better or worse than anyone else, I was able to begin the
process of forgiving myself for all the wrongs I’ve done: And that was when the
healing really began……
-
ALAN
-
SJVI Newsletter
-
October, 2002
õõõõõõõõõõõõ
It’s
better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid than
to open it and remove all doubt.
Rami Belson
õõõõõõõõõõõõ
“ONE DAY AT A TIME”
“One Day At A Time.” In 12 Step Meetings we hear this phrase
often. We say it but do we live it? Do we wake up each day with plans to live
our lives to the fullest? Do we seek out fun, friends, laughter and love? Do we
think about eating healthy, taking care of ourselves physically, emotionally
and spiritually? Dow we hug our loved ones and tell them we love them and
appreciate their place in our lives daily?
I have been negligent in many of these areas in my own life.
I go along I n a fog often unaware of what goes on in the world and in other
people’s lives. I do not express gratitude for what I have and love to the
people close to me. Tragedy jolts us awake, makes us weep, brings us closer
together and opens our hearts.
I plan top start taking better care of myself physically by
eating healthy, moderate meals and taking up a regular exercise routine. I plan
to take care of myself emotionally by attending OA meetings and talking out my
stress, anger, frustrations and sharing my joy in life with other people. I
plan to take care of myself spiritually by praying daily, and strengthening my
connection with my Higher Power.
I have many thoughts and plans running through my head.
Writing it down is the easy part, living it is the hard part. Now is my time
for growth with a change in direction, attitude and gratitude. Seeking out
people to share my life, loving myself and learning to be comfortable with
myself and others are immediate goals for me.
I want to have a great life! I want to travel, hold my new
great-nephew, have a fabulous garden every year and enjoy everything life has
to offer. I must start with living “One Day At A Time” and putting down the
food that brings insanity and emptiness to my life.
- Diane
Regina Newsletter
Fall 2002
The
Garden
Come
to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses…
For
the garden of your daily living plant three rows of peas:
1. Peace of mind
2. Peace of heart
3. Peace of soul
Plant
four rows of squash:
1. Squash gossip
2. Squash indifference
3. Squash grumbling
4. Squash selfishness
Plant
four rows of lettuce:
1. Lettuce be faithful
2. Lettuce be kind
3. Lettuce be patient
4. Lettuce really love one another
No
garden is without turnips
1. Turnip for meetings
2. Turnip for service
3. Turnip to help one another
To
conclude our garden we must have thyme:
1. Thyme for each other
2. Thyme for family
3. Thyme for friends
Water freely with patience and
cultivate with love. There is much fruit in your garden because you reap what
you sow.
Internet – source unknown
From Turning It Over
Spring, 2002
õõõõõõõõõõõõ
Coming Soon!
A meeting will start on April 9, 2003,
at Park Center,
909 E. State, Greenlea Building, Room 105, on
Wednesdays at 6:30 p.m. This meeting will study the OA 12 Steps. Call
Debra at 492-2581 for details.
õõõõõõõõõõõõ
SEEING
FROM THE EYES OF MEN
How
OA is Different for a Man
A good friend asked me to write about my percep-tions of what it means to be a man in Overeaters
Anonymous. Some tools seem to be the same for men and women. These are
anonymity, food plans, writing and service. Other tools, however, seem to be
different.
Literature: Our literature seems to be more often from
a woman’s point of view than a man’s. The good news is that the literature is
as relevant to my recovery as it is to a woman’s.
Meetings: Most OA meetings have more women than men,
but I like being around intelligent, interesting, attractive women who are
striving to maintain their health. Occasionally, I’m distracted by thoughts of
a possible personal relationship.
Sponsorship/Telephone: One of the consequences of
having fewer men than women in our Fellowship is that potential male sponsors
are fewer. I believe I could benefit just as much from the help of a woman
sponsor as from a man, but serious complications could arise, such as romantic
feelings in one or both parties. Also, spouses and partners might not
understand the nature of our program and the concept of sponsorship.
A few other areas where I perceive that differences
exist:
Bulimia/Anorexia: Either they don’t often exist in
men, or men are not willing to talk about them. I have never heard a man
discuss these types of compulsive food behaviors.
Food Preparation: In our culture, women are more
likely to do the everyday cooking for the rest of the family. When I would hear
women talk about the difficulties of shopping for, handling and cooking food, I
couldn’t relate to these experiences… until recently, I now have two teenage
boys living with me, and they want to eat every day! Even though I enjoy fixing
dinner for the three of us, I find myself preoccupied with food. Every night as
I finish dinner, I start thinking about what I will fix the next night. Now I
can relate to women who talk about the chal-lenges of
cooking for the family.
Body Image: Men rarely mention this. Maybe it’s less
of an issue for men because ourt culture seems to put
more of a premium on a woman’s physical appearance. Or maybe it’s something men
never talk about because we never hear men talking about it. I’ve shared once
or twice (in almost eight years) about my preoccupation with my body’s
appearance. My disease tells me that even small love handles will be repulsive
to women. My experience and observation say that isn’t true, but truth doesn’t
have much bearing on what my disease tells me. So I can relate, to an extent,
when beautiful women say they hate their bodies.
Depression: Men don’t often mention this. Fortunately,
my ex-wife shared with me about her symptoms, so I knew to do something about
it quickly when I became clinically depressed.
Friendships: Having friendships with women in OA has
the potential complications I mentioned with sponsorship.
Honesty: In our culture men are more conditioned than
women to hide their feelings. But, if I don’t talk about my feelings, I cannot
be rigorously honest with myself or anyone else.
I’m grateful for the fellowship and the inspiration I
receive from everyone in OA. Thank you.
- Edited and reprinted
from Heart of Texas Intergroup newsletter, December, 2001
Reprinted from
Lifeline, December, 2002
