I have been told that prayer and meditation will help my recovery. I believe that. I pray often, throughout the day, but struggle with meditation. But why?
With this mind racing here and there, thinking about each thing that comes along, how can I get my mind to stand still long enough to meditate? This is what I do: I set a timer for 10 minutes. (I don’t always make it to 10 minutes but it’s a goal worth striving for.) I take a deep breath then begin. What do I think about? I try to calm my thinking and ask God to speak to me. Will He? I don’t know. Sometimes I get a thought I haven’t thought of before and it’s to do something, call someone, make amends, just something I wasn’t thinking before, and that is usually God speaking to me. Sometimes an anxious thought comes up and I can follow that thought to the root of it, and maybe there’s fear, anger, dishonesty, self-seeking or selfish behavior at the root of the anxiety. But wait, this is meditation…God is supposed to be talking to me! Well, He IS talking to me, showing me blocks to a better relationship with Him. I have learned that if I am listening for His voice, He will do the rest. Sometimes I don’t hear anything and just sit around waiting for some revelation. Sometimes a sweet, gentle voice says I’m ok the way I am. And sometimes looking at what I am anxious about shows me what God wants me to let go of.
Meditation is never wasted. It’s always good for my soul and spirit to slow down, listen to my HP, and take away any lessons I’ve learned. If I didn’t get any palpable items to do or deal with from the time, then I just can rest in the thought that I was there, God was there, and work was done that I don’t even know about! Many people meditate for more time than this, many just 3 minutes; the amount of time is not the issue. It’s the willingness to show up, to allow God to speak if He wants to, to be willing to hear His voice speaking into my life. To be honest, I don’t meditate every day, but just writing now about all the benefits of it make me want to start. Will you join me in fulfilling the part of the 11th step prayer that recommends meditation? I hope so! In the meantime, I’m going to try to up the number of days I meditate until it’s every day, and then try to up the number of minutes, too!