“An experience that I could not miss.” I am grateful to be the Communication Committee Chair because I am learning how to work with people. I am practicing the discipline of follow through on what I promise to do. I also am learning about web design, social media applications beyond entertainment, and outreach to other groups.” -Anonymous
Author: Nimda
-Anonymous
“I am grateful that I have the opportunity to chair 3 meetings I attend. Before OA, I would have thought that I have nothing to offer…OA has taught me that I can chair meetings! I have learned so much!” – Anonymous
“I remember my first service experience so well. I was a newcomer and became a group rep. At Intergroup I was asked to update the meeting list, which was quite out of date. This was in the days before the web or computers, so I had to submit a form for each meeting that was closed. I did that for over 30 meetings and I was concerned that OA was failing. It took others who knew more to convince me that everything was going to be okay. I’m grateful for staying .”
-Anonymous
-Anonymous
“I’ve done service by being a Region Chair and a Region Trustee. I went past my comfort zone. I stopped worrying about whether I would be good at it. I learned also to step down when the time was right.” -Anonymous
“I enjoyed the service of a meeting where each member defined what abstinence meant to them.” -Anonymous
“I give service by chairing meetings, giving people rides to meetings and sponsoring people. I also make 3-5 outreach calls a day and sometimes I call people I don’t know. I have found some interesting people that way. I also call the newcomer 2 days after meeting them in case they have questions. I love OA.” -Anonymous
“My service level and experience are paying to the future. I want OA to remain strong. “Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.” (Neil Postman) I see the struggles my nieces go through as well as the online negative messaging. My service is my passion.” -Anonymous
“I was treasurer for my home group for about 8 years. This responsibility helped to keep me going to the weekly meeting. I currently meet with another OA person and listen to her answers to the 12 Steps of the OA 12&12. It helps me in my own recovery. I am thankful for this service.”
-Anonymous
“Caring for a loved one after major surgery is much easier as I am not focused so much on food. Being able to be present is service!” -Anonymous
“I am grateful for my service on the WSBC literature committee. I love being a sponsor.”
“This seems like a perfect thing to put into my Tenth Step. How am I reaching out? How am I doing service? How often do I work with others?
The biggest thing I can do is to encourage newcomers to get involved. Not only does that help the newcomer, it also helps me to carry the message to the still suffering compulsive overeater.
My sanity is proportional to the amount of service to others I am willing to do.” -Anonymous
“How can I invest more in “we” tools? I can reach out to others. I realize that in the safety of 1:1 I am known. I need to extend that safety zone to others so I can divide my worries, share my successes, and reduce my uniqueness. It is important to encourage service. I am not sure how. An expectation of service isn’t sufficient. The shame and secrecy in meetings are so immense. The desire to be hidden. I must be seen to recover. I know how it is to life in secrecy and it is suffering.” -Anonymous
Ways to encourage service:
Practice alongside you sponsees
Be an example.
Allow others to carry the load even if it goes undone.
Invite members to the Intergroup meeting as a guest.
Call those who keep their cameras off during a virtual meeting and say, “I’d like to see your face!”
Split a month of chairing with someone.
Encourage people to sponsor up to their level of recovery.
Put phone numbers in the chat in a virtual meeting.
An OA Story
I came to OA to lose weight. I had been in recovery in a different program and released over 100 pounds, but my weight was creeping upward, and my eating was out of control. Since I had tried everything else, I decided to try OA. I was relieved to be finally free from dieting and as I worked the program, eventually (thought much longer than I wanted) I released another 80 pounds.
Years later my abstinence was good and my food plan moderate enough for me to continue losing weight. But one summer changed all that. I remember looking down at the scale in shock. How could I have gained 16 pounds in a month? I was confused and frightened. I talked with my sponsor, and she assured me that my eating plan was good and there must be something else happening in my body that was making me gain weight. Over the next few months, I went on to gain a total of 39 pounds. I had to buy larger clothes, and I struggled with feeling frumpy and ugly. I had a number of medical tests, all of which came up negative. It was finally decided that I would see an endocrinologist, but it would be another three months before I could get in for an appointment.
I was increasingly frustrated. “Why bother being abstinent when I’m getting nothing out of it?” I often thought. Over time, I began to think about the many gifts I was receiving by being abstinent that had nothing to do with losing weight. My relationship with God was better than it had ever been; I was learning to give and receive love; my shame was falling away; I was enjoying being me; my head was clear and I was making better, wiser decisions; I enjoyed eating because I wasn’t making myself sick by eating too much; my spirit felt free; and I was pursuing my dreams. There were a lot more benefits to abstinence than simply losing weight.
By practicing Step 11 on a regular basis, I was leaning on God more and myself less. I enjoy my times with God each morning and I love hearing His voice and receiving good, orderly, direction from Him. By seeking to do God’s will, I can stop relentlessly pushing myself in a misguided attempt to earn God’s favor or the approval of others. When I ask God to help me and listen for His answer, He always shows up. I do not need to figure out everything myself.
Attending meetings and being honest there has helped me to get the support I need, and also to see that other people need support that I can give. I no longer hide when I am troubled. I reach out to my fellows and find the love, acceptance, and support I need. When my love tank is full, I can reach out to others who are struggling and support them.
By accepting myself as I am instead of looking for perfection, my shame began to leave me. I grew more confident that I was a unique, beautiful woman. I see my purpose in life and have come to realize my worth. I no longer feel bad about myself when my quirky, silly side comes out. I enjoy laughing, especially when others are laughing, too.
Food fog is no more. I can think rationally and make wise decisions. I make wiser decisions in my relationships and in my finances.
Not spending all of my time, energy, and money on food freed me to pursue my dreams. I love to write and always wanted to write a book. I self-published my first book in 2023. That would not have happened if I were not abstinent.
Best of all, I am able to stand up after a meal without the guilt or shame that comes from eating too much. The feeling of going to bed after an abstinent day fills me with contentment and satisfaction.
I do not know why I gained so much weight while abstinent. I am grateful for this experience because, if for no other reason, I found joy in being abstinent, whatever happens with my weight. When I came to OA, all I cared about was losing weight. I was obsessed with the number on the scale, trying everything I could think of to break the obsession. My motivation for abstinence has changed. Do I still want to reach a healthy body weight? Of course I do. For now, all I can do now is remain abstinent each day, wait for my test results, and enjoy the emotional and spiritual benefits of abstinence. Whatever happens, I am confident (most of the time) that abstinence is worth the work whether I lose the rest of my excess weight or not.
–Cindy H.
Defects of Character
In the past I have had difficulty with the phrase “defects of character”. I interpreted it as fatal flaws, validating my belief of a core deflective self. Then I read the definition of Character Defect in the Twelve Step Workshop and Study Guide. On page 52 the Step Four glossary defines Character Defect as “exact nature of our wrongs: Ways of handling life that interfere with our happiness, good relations with others, and conscious contact with our Higher Power.”
It is not me, my soul that is defective, but my “ways of handling life” that have been the root of my problem. Am I willing to let my Higher Power show me more effective and loving ways of handling life? Do I want to grow toward having happiness, good relations with others and conscious contact with my Higher Power? Yes!
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” Helen Keller as quoted in For Today, September 6.
How many times have I not only looked at closed doors in my life but stared at those doors, waiting, wishing, hoping that they would open again? There is a door that has been opened for me. The door to recovery, and, for today, I want to keep choosing that door.

