Tradition 1 – Unity
Unity is especially important at my job in property management work. It is important that staff and contractors are united about what our organization goals are for each property. When do we rehab and when do we just do maintenance? When we let tenant’s slide on late fees (Covid) and when we don’t… It is important in my family and with my friends. It’s ok to have different opinions, but it is important they all are unified under my love and support for them. It is important that I show them this, that I help keep the unity. I’m learning to do this by “identifying-in” when I can, doing my best to find what we have in common, and going from there … always showing love and support, even when I disagree.
Tradition 2 – Trust
I trusted in my sponsors and the OA program until I could solidly trust my HP. Trust is key when I attempt something new and when I’m unsure if I can do it. I trust HP when all else fails. I take a breath and trust HP.
Tradition 3 – Identity
If I identify as a compulsive overeater, then I can be a member of OA and that is that. No one can kick me out. I have come across other 12-Step programs that I am exploring as I further my quest to be as recovered and free as possible in this program and in my life. I love that there are so many different programs based on the 12-steps, and now that I’ve worked through the steps and understand them, I feel confident to investigate other’s ideas, take what is useful to my identity, and leave the rest.
Tradition 4 – Autonomy
Autonomy means I can work the OA program (and live my life) the way I see fit. Even if I’m wrong … and I’ve been wrong … as long as I don’t harm anyone else in OA or out. This is important for me because I learn so much more from my mistakes. After I face the hard, long part of realizing I made a mistake then, I really learn my lesson, lessons I can’t learn from reading the Big Book or even working with others. Some things I just have to learn on my own, and autonomy gives me the ability to do it that way.
Tradition 5 – Purpose
Purpose, or lack thereof, was my most used reason for quitting or giving up on my diets. What’s the purpose? I couldn’t see a purpose for the suffering I’d endured while dieting. The OA program helped me find purpose. It helped me stick with my food plan and action plan when things got tough. Then it gave me purpose to continue to stick with the plan by carrying this message of purpose to others. I know what my higher purpose is on this earth. Never got that from any diet!
Tradition 6 – Solidarity
Solidarity means unity of purpose. In OA we have a mutual responsibility to work the Steps and carry the message. I try not to let other ideals or people’s personalities get involved with this. Despite many differences, we are United in our purpose. Helping keep this United front is how I practice solidarity.
Tradition 7 – Responsibility
Responsibility is being held accountable for things that are within one’s power, control, or management. I stop being fearful, resentful, or harmful over things I cannot control. I turn them over to HP. Meanwhile, I accept responsibility for my part; daily routines that help keep me spiritually connected via immediate 10-Steps, constant prayer and meditation and sponsoring others on the 12-Steps.
Tradition 8 – Fellowship
Fellowship is “companionship on equal terms and within a congenial atmosphere.” I love the fellowship I find in OA. When I first came to the program, the fellowship allowed me peace and serenity so that I could eventually open up to a spiritual awakening. It was very gradual and up and down and I probably wouldn’t have gotten there without the fellowship. Particularly important, not as important as spiritual connection itself, but still, an essential element. I practice it by attending meetings and doing service at the Intergroup level.
Tradition 9 – Structure
This tradition can be very ambiguous. At first, we are asked not to organize, but then we may form service committees. I believe bureaucracy has its own set of problems and that is what we are trying to avoid here. When I get caught up in the “red tape” of how things should be done or how they’ve always been done or how many want things done, I can forget the goal. The goal in OA is recovery via the twelve steps. By concentrating on the goal, I don’t get caught up on other issues. I try to apply this to all areas of my life.
Tradition 10 – Neutrality
Having no opinions on outside issues helps keep our “eye on the prize!” (recovery – via the 12 Steps) I’ve heard the story of a previous fellowship that was successful in keeping alcoholics sober but, when they branched out to other topics, outside of alcoholism, that eventually led to their demise. When dealing with our cunning and baffling disease, it is best to stick with the main topic!
When I did my first 4th Step in OA, I realized that my mind often became overwhelmed with outside issues. When I concentrated on one issue at a time, the character defect that was blocking me from my HP, I could more easily find a solution. When I have a problem at work or at home now, I take a breath and pause. I do my best to remain objective and try to find a common solution. If I cannot easily, I hold off before saying or committing to something. I say to myself, “first, cause no harm.” If I make a mistake and say or do something, I know might harm another, I quickly apologize and take a step away so I can collect my thoughts. This ability to get “neutral” has helped me solve so many problems that used to leave me desperate! I’m not perfect and I don’t try to be. But I do see progress.
Tradition 11 – Anonymity
The reason for anonymity is simple and complicated. When I first came to OA, I did not want people to know I attended meetings. It was good to be anonymous. The security in the rooms allowed me to openly admit being bulimic in high school and college. I had never done that before. As I got recovered in OA, I learned I had an issue with gossip, something I never realized before. Anonymity meant I didn’t discuss others if it could in any way cause harm. I learned to discuss issues of sponsoring without naming people if it wasn’t necessary. I apply this to other areas of my life at work and with family members. It is hard sometimes to distinguish between gossiping about and helping people. This is the complicated part, but I am progressing.
Tradition 12 – Spirituality
“Spirituality” is it. This is what distinguishes OA from any other diet I’ve ever been on. Before OA, and especially as I got older and less crazy with my dieting, I found that all diets work. When I ate less and exercised more, I lost weight and felt better. But when this happened, all sorts of feelings came up. Eventually, I got depressed and angry; missing the only solution to my problems, I went back to the food. But with OA, I had a new solution. A spiritual connection to my HP gave me a reason to continue to eat healthy and stay away from my trigger foods and trigger behaviors. Via the twelve steps, I have learned how to keep this spiritual connection. My spirituality is the reason for continued recovery from compulsive eating.
— Laura W.