We sponsor because as it says in The Big Book, to keep our recovery, we have to give it away or pass it on. Step 12 says, “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry the message to other compulsive overeaters and to practice these principles in all our affairs.” Lasting recovery happens, in my forty years of experience in OA, when I follow the suggestions outlined in the 12 Steps through action and substitute them for the irrational behaviors of compulsive overeating.
I sponsor “to give back what has so generously been given to me” from previous sponsors as loving service. I try to pour all the love, acceptance, and encouragement that every previous sponsor has freely given me: to newcomers; to those in relapse; to those emerging from relapse; or to those who just want to try a new sponsor. I am enriched in the process, my program gets strengthened, and my recovery deepens.
I sponsor to practice listening, to my Higher Power and my own sponsor for guidance and direction, besides listening to the sponsee. Checking in with HP and my sponsor helps keep me accountable and reminds me that I am not in control or in charge of the sponsee’s recovery. All I can do is offer my “experience, strength and hope.” Inner listening is part of Step 11, practicing prayer and meditation, so sponsoring helps keep me in “fit spiritual condition.“
At its healthiest, the sponsor/sponsee relationship is a sacred partnership to me, different from other friendships outside program. Respect, confidentiality and reciprocity nourish it, keep it healthy and help it grow. The opportunity to develop connections with people who understand me on an intimate level because we share the same disease is priceless. In listening, I am heard, too, and get to celebrate the values of recovery that guide my life.
— Kate F.